Best...Quotes...Ever. [Archive] - Werewolf.com Discussion Boards

Corius bloodmoon

10-02-2003, 12:15 PM

Ok lets do some deep-search in the memory bank.....BING!!!

"The weeks shortest school day.Too bad it's over"-Me

"He's gone to face his uncle.Scar."
"Scar?Where has he got a scar?"Pumba and the female lion (forgot the name)-The lion king.

And some quotes of Amrada a member of the TF site Tfextreme.
"I'm not a complete idiot.Some parts are missing."
"I'm not suffering from insanity.I'm enyoing ever minute of it."
"We are not realy like a family.More like a club.Unfortunatly there is some members who i'd like clubbed."

Thats all i can think of for now.

DarkOmegaWolf

10-02-2003, 01:35 PM

"Go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours"

...Oh wait..it's supposed to be the best quote, not funniest...
Oh well :D

Vendetta

10-02-2003, 03:14 PM

"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"

"Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken."

"I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals."

"I beat the internet.... The end-boss is hard."

"you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out"

Courtesy of Bash.org (http://www.bash.org/). More to follow...

IronWolf

10-02-2003, 03:40 PM

from the film snatch forgot names so won't put em in

-would you stop that dog from drooling all over my car seats!
-Tyrone, its a stolen car, it doesn't belong to you.
-while i'm in the drivers seat, it IS my car!

try and remember some more

IronWolf

10-02-2003, 03:43 PM

another one from same film

"I thought you said he was a get away driver, what the f**k is he getting away from mate?"

Xzengrim

10-02-2003, 03:52 PM

"You know what I like? I like it when giant flaming chunks of wood and concrete are falling out of the sky and people are running around trying to get out of the way. I don't watch tv for the news. I don't want to see the news. But you give me a hospital that's on fire with people with people on crutches jumping off the roof, I'm a happy guy! It's like auto races... I don't watch auto races to see cars driving five hundred miles in a circle... I'm waiting for some accidents, man. I want to see a car on fire doing a two-hundred mile an hour cartwheel! I want to see some shmuck with his hair on fire, running around punching his own head!"
~George Carlin

"Procrastination is like masturbation, it feels good until you realize you've just f**ked yourself."

Grim's all purpose response to anything:
Them: "I like >blank<."
Me: A) "I'll show you >blank<!
B) "I'll >blank< you!
C) "I've got your >blank< right here!

With this tool, you'll never be at a loss for words regarding anything. Use it wisely.

10-02-2003, 04:33 PM

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." - Axel Rose

"That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down."-- Jim Carrey

"I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most... I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it." -- Bill Clinton

"Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties."- George Clooney

"Because young men are so goddamn disappointing!" [on why women like older leading men] -- Harrison Ford

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

lordragoon

10-02-2003, 08:08 PM

Many of these were posted by YoungFang on the older site. If she doesn't mind...

http://www.geocities.com/acpilotbob/quote.html

YoungFang

10-03-2003, 03:06 AM

Many of these were posted by YoungFang on the older site. If he doesn't mind...

http://www.geocities.com/acpilotbob/quote.html

*keeps her insanity in check* I ..am..a..SHE That's the second time so far I've been called a he on ww.com version 4. Lol maybe I should fix it in my sig.

Here's a quote on the side of a college mobile:
Jesus is coming.. look busy.

lordragoon

10-03-2003, 08:33 AM

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy
I apologize many times. Sorry, Youngfang.

Vendetta

10-03-2003, 09:59 AM

It's ok... she gets that a lot. :D

YoungFang

10-03-2003, 12:02 PM

Vendetta

10-03-2003, 01:03 PM

S'ok and yeah I do get that a lot; however I like the worshiping so continue ;), The name YoungFang isn't exactly feminine.
Speaking of feminine names did you ever come up with your feminine alterego Ven?
Well seeing as how I'm an attention whore, it'd probably be something like SvelteWolfess69 (I hear the 69 in your nick automatically guarantees you internet coolness points.)

Ender

10-03-2003, 01:26 PM

Actaully, I don't take anyone that has 69 in thier name serious. Or ~s for that matter.

Vendetta

10-03-2003, 03:04 PM

Actaully, I don't take anyone that has 69 in thier name serious. Or ~s for that matter.
Hence why there was sarcasm involved in my reply. :D

Ender

10-03-2003, 03:10 PM

Ah the beauty of it all ha

"I'm the cock of the walk!" - Connery SNL

Skull Cowboy

10-03-2003, 03:18 PM

"Fuck a duck."- Lindsay

Wraywolf

10-03-2003, 04:39 PM

The question seldom addressed is *where* Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in
your home.
-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

Wobbler had written an actual computer game like this once. It was called "Journey to Alpha Centauri". It was a screen with some dots on it. Because, he said, it happened in *real time*, which no-one had ever heard of until computers. He'd seen on TV that it took three thousand years to get to Alpha Centauri. He had written it so that if anyone kept their computer on for three thousand years, they'd be rewarded by a little dot appearing in the middle of the screen, and then a message saying, "Welcome to Alpha Centauri. Now go home."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind)

blueeyes

10-03-2003, 05:41 PM

DOS:
No Keyboard Detected. Press any key to continue.
Windows:
No Mouse Connected. Click OK to continue.

DarkHunter

10-03-2003, 06:00 PM

Say what you mean, do what you feel- Me

Got to be a joker, I just do what I please- Aerosmith

Stacy's Mom has got it goin on.- Fountains of Wayne

Littlewolf

10-03-2003, 11:54 PM

I got some:

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"
"If your parents don't have children, chances are you won't either."
"Guys are like roses, watch out for the pricks."
"I lost my teady bear, will you sleep with me?"

My firends email address is that last one. :wavey:

Xzengrim

10-04-2003, 12:49 AM

"Won't you help me, Mr. Jesus,
Won't you tell me if you can
When you see this world we live in,
do you still believe in man?"
~Black Sabbath, Megalomania

"A man who has realized his manhood
And who fears only God,
Will fear no one else."
~Mahatma Ghandi

"I never wanted to be famous.
I only wanted to be great."
~Ray Charles

Homer: "There are three ways to do things;
The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"
Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yes, but faster!"

"The only thing that is truly frightening is people."
~Tobe Hooper, Director, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

"I ain't evil, -Just good lookin'."
~Alice Cooper

Winterwulff: (On werewolves) "We have nothing to fear from werewolves. Any 'wild animal' that suddenly discovered it had a wang-bone of that size and its own set of opposeable thumbs, would starve to death in the bathroom."

"That's what the young men are there for."
~Adolph Hitler

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA!"
~Cannibal Corpse, "Stripped,Raped, and Strangled"

Corius bloodmoon

10-04-2003, 03:05 AM

And here's a little more:

"You could just as well plan a trip to the moon as try to use steam power on the north atlantic"-Dr.Dionysus Lardner (1793-1859),professor at University Collage,London,about the first steam-driven ships.

"How long are you willing to go for this girl?"
"I'd die for her."
"Good.Then i dont have to worry."-Jack Sparrow and The Hero (Forgot his name (Duh)),Pirates of the caribeean.

YoungFang

10-04-2003, 06:09 AM

He's right. I'm unloved, unwanted, unpopular (Kick), unconscious...

Nobody knows you here. It's only people who know you that want to kill you.

Smile. That's what they do around here.

I never run away! I strategically maneuver!

Ender

10-04-2003, 04:15 PM

"I never run away! I strategically maneuver! " Oh I'm using that!

IronWolf

10-04-2003, 04:55 PM

"What kind of idiot do you take me for?"
"dunno, how many kinds are there?"

DarkHunter

10-05-2003, 06:40 PM

God played a cruel joke on the world when he made man. We just haven't got the punchline yet- Lost cause from Werenation

MexicanJewLizard

10-05-2003, 09:11 PM

Frankly, anything Stewy says is funny as hell. :)

DarkHunter

10-07-2003, 05:02 PM

Frankly, anything Stewy says is funny as hell. :)

*applause* Drinks for everybody :beerchug:

Math is a religion. You believe in it or you don't
Be careful or be roadkill-Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes)

Don't walk into the street and freeze in headlights cus you'll be run over or shot-Hobbes

Xzengrim

10-07-2003, 05:32 PM

Vicious: "Do you have any idea what you look like right now?"

Spike: "What?"

Vicious: "A ravenous beast. The same blood runs through both of us. The blood of a beast who wanders, hunting for the blood of others."

Spike: "I've bled all that kind of blood away."

Vicious: "...Then why ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!"

~Cowboy Bebop, Episode Five "The Ballad of Fallen Angels"

Xzengrim

10-07-2003, 05:34 PM

Comic Book Quotes

"Look, Roger. A dead alien."
~ Hellboy, "The Conqueror Worm"

"Now God has a tree in his neck."
~ Hellboy, "Almost Collossus"

"Stop doing that and go look for my legs!"
~ Blade of the Immortal

"Never trust anything that bleeds for four days and doesn't die."
~ Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan

ThrasherCub

10-07-2003, 10:59 PM

"aww... I'm a sinner and God's a pervert." -Chris, Family Guy

"You damn Cockanada!"
"..... Dude, did you just say 'cockanada'?"
"Yeah I think I did... What's a Cockanada?"
"I dunno... It sounds like a tropical porn drink... Like Penis Colada!" -Felcia and myself, being total idiots during 1st period

"Holy Crap! It's the Children of the Corn!" -Peter upon seeing Hanson, Family Guy

"If she were not dead I would kill her!" -Random Klingon from Next Generation Episode, The Chase

and my personal favorite;
"If ignorance is bliss, why the hell aren't more people happy?"
-Myself, asking this everyday for years past and many more to come.

Es gibt nix
was es nicht gibt

Wolffy13

10-08-2003, 12:17 AM

Stuff a fellow were sent me:

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it
remains?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Get a new car for your spouse -- it'll be a great trade!

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand....

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Enjoy!!!

YoungFang

10-08-2003, 10:41 AM

(Billy Connoly asking his son what he looked like smoking a cigar)

Billy: What do I look like?
Son: Like a movie star
Billy: A movie star eh? Thanks son.
Son: Yeah you look like Lassie taking a shit

Corius bloodmoon

10-08-2003, 11:19 AM

"I can feel it like it was RIGHT IN MY NECK!!!"-Ace venture (Jim carrey),pet detecktive.

"Dugald says you cant trust women.Any of them."
"Why not?"
"How can you trust anything who bleeds for a week and doesnt die?"-Gunyfar and Black leg,The dragon queen.

"Hey!I found a dead cat!"
"Burned?"
"Dunno.It just looks...Dead."-random persons,The pet cemenatery by Steven king.

ThrasherCub

10-08-2003, 10:51 PM

-The following quotes came from my own twisted mind, spoken upon my friends' beloved orange bench with Pirate Joe drawn on it. May the bench rest in peace-

"Okay, so this guy who's not really him had naked squirrels hold guns to his head and make him pretend he was really him and make really corny infomercials. What's not to understand?"

"STOP GRABBING MY ASS!" *thinks for a moment* "wait! a nickle for an ass-grab!"

"that's not your penis! Where did you get that!?"

"Fuck, what's the point of having a fourth period class if you can't disrupt it with a cake fight?"

"Dude, you smell like a giant condom of doooooooooooom"

"right about now, my ass could REALLY use a spoon."

"GAKK! Get her off! It's like being humped by a one-eyed lepper with a bad wig and way too much speed in her system!"

.......I think those were one the days where all I was able to buy was soda and gummy worms.

Es gibt nix
was es nicht gibt

silenceowl

10-11-2003, 01:53 PM

time is never wasted, when your wasted all the time.

and

life sucks, then you die,
so in between try to get high.

Corius bloodmoon

10-11-2003, 02:08 PM

Velociraptors:*Rips cow inte shreads*
Owner:So.Anyone want dinner?-Velocirators and the owner (i realy have to try to remember names),jurrasic park.

"How can you stand what you are?"
"I dont have much choise do i?"-Ripley clone and Cyborg (another name forgotten),Alien:Res urection.

"Never pet a burning dog"-Blizzard entertainment,Warcra ft II tips.

atomicdawg

11-27-2003, 02:57 PM

"for every onion i find i will kill you," Stewy

Quicksilver

11-27-2003, 06:38 PM

"It's Like someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!" Stewy -Family Guy

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." Homer j. Simpson.

spawnofFenrir

11-29-2003, 09:59 AM

I lost my phone number can i have yours?

Ender

11-29-2003, 10:08 AM

spawnofFenrir[/b] ] I lost my phone number can i have yours?

http://www.troopers.state.n y.us/Acad/Img/Mace.jpg

Ender

11-29-2003, 11:04 PM

“So you think I’m a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn’t respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean ‘loser’ to you, but let me tell you something: Every morning when I wake up, I know it’s not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I’ll never play football like I thought I would, I’ll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I’ll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I’m not a loser. ‘Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who’ll never be what he wanted to be are still out there, being what we don’t wanna be, forty hours a week—for life. And the fact that I haven’t put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!” - Al Bundy

Tempest

11-30-2003, 05:42 PM

"The question is: is our children learning?" --George W. Bush
"Do not use while sleeping" --Instructions on a ConAir blow dryer.
"Caution: do not attempt to bite anyone while wearing!" --on a package for vampire teeth
"I found Jesus: he was behind the sofa the whole time!" --bumper sticker
"From now on, I will be known as...Homer Jay Simpson!" --Homer Simpson
"Most of us follow the three "f"s of nature: feeding, fighting and...reproduction." --Stolen

Quicksilver

12-01-2003, 03:29 AM

In my neighborhood we have a serious Jehova Witness soliciting problem... at one time I was stuck at the door with one and was asked.."Have you found jesus?"
My unplanned, and unrealised responce "No, but I think that he is in the back yard..you wanna help me look?"

Blazer

12-01-2003, 05:53 PM

"Somtimes I wake up grumpy... other times I let her lie in." - V. Cullan

"Life is like mail, sometimes I just don't get it" - Same.

"I'd give up smoking but I don't want to be known as a quitter" - Again.

"Giving up somking is easy - I do it 20 times a day" - Some long forgotten TV program.

"Only boring people are brilliant at breakfast" - Oscar Wilde.

Khirsah

12-02-2003, 05:23 PM

"Of all men's miseries the bitterest is this: to know so much and to have control over nothing" Herodotus

"I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance" Socrates

Nightmare GenoReaper

12-02-2003, 08:26 PM

"There is no truth, only your persective"
Nightmare GenoReaper

Nyghtshayd Daggar

12-02-2003, 08:39 PM

~It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then to open it and remove all doubt.

~"But why is the rum gone?";"Me, I'm a dishonest man and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for. You never know when they might do something stupid."-Captain Jack Sparrow

LeenaAngelWing

12-02-2003, 09:14 PM

A converstaion I had with an intresting person over the internet who wanted me to join their "society".

Person (roughly): I am that which cannot be spoken of. My breath speaks silence. My existence is the enigma of the soul. Every action I take, echoes of itself, existing in itself and its negative, staying in complete neutral balance. I cannot be comprehended by any, for I am that which has no meaning to human minds.

Me: Soooooo you in essence, say little, do less, and mean nothing?

Khirsah

12-03-2003, 10:05 PM

"You've burned the food the shade and the Rum"
"Why's the Rum gone."
"But why is the Rum gone"
Captain Jack Sparrow

Quicksilver

12-05-2003, 12:03 AM

Aragorn: "I don't think you can make the jump.."
Gimley: "Toss me!"
Aragorn quirks a brow
Aragorn: "Are you sure?"
Gimley: "Just don't tell the elf!"

LycanSpectre

12-05-2003, 03:18 PM

BUCK FUTTER! - SNL

and

Nucking Futz ... As in "I am nucking futz"

Loups_Garou

12-05-2003, 09:24 PM

Just because you can make it bleed doesn"t mean you can kill it

If homosexuals cant reproduce than why are there so many of them?

"Who"s Bob Hope?" "He"s the guy who invented electricity dumbass"

I"LL KILL YOU! I"LL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU DIE FROM IT!

Why are they called seconds? Why not firsts?

spawnofFenrir

12-08-2003, 12:49 PM

If anything moves shoot it-some random filma big wall hear people say
-Dam it wont fit!
try turning it
I still wont fit!
rub this over it
AH there we go it fits perfectley

Lupis

12-09-2003, 09:07 AM

Frankly, anything Stewy says is funny as hell. :)

DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!! :banghead: :D

Lycanthropia

12-09-2003, 01:56 PM

One of my favorite quotes was a comment JFK made on his war hero status....he commented "It was involuntary. They sank my boat."

For some twisted reason I find that comment to be HIGHLY amusing... *shrug*

Beserker Cub

12-09-2003, 03:06 PM

I didn't read ALL post while I'm posting this...so...NO COMPLAINING!! ;)

"Come with me if you want to live."
-DUH! I think you know.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
- Albert Einstein

And my USER TEXT and SIGNATURE. By me.

Quicksilver

12-10-2003, 04:05 PM

My quote:
"Spirituality and religion is alot like toilet paper, you never really tell anyone about it, or share it with anyone. There are only two times that you really notice... when you have none to wipe the "shit" from your life, and on the one time a year when you share it with everyone by assaulting their house with it. (damn christmas carolers/ homecoming tpers)

~? Quicksilver ?~

Lycaon017

12-10-2003, 05:12 PM

"Carnivores never become corpulent"
-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, La Physiologie du Gout :notworthy

"I don't suffer from lycanthropy, I enjoy it very much."
-Scott Gardener, The Original Werewolf.com

Xavious

12-22-2003, 05:34 PM

"Isn't an estuary where the ocean meets the water?" - A dumb person in my science class

"How hard can it be to light a room full of gas!?!" The guy on Myth Busters

DarkHunter

01-03-2004, 11:15 PM

"What are you thinking?"
"Thinkin you can suck my junk, biatch."

Final Destination (2 i think)

The KuroOkami

01-04-2004, 01:42 PM

I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away --- No idea where this came from...

werewolfs_bite

01-10-2004, 07:26 PM

ok. here's a couple i got.
"of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most." - Ozzy

"thats just pillow talk baby." - ash from army of darkness

ive used the last one 2 much.

LycanSpectre

01-11-2004, 07:39 PM

Ryan: "Im having one of those headaches with pictures right now."
LycanSpectre: "Uh huh... What, like an idea?"
Ryan: "Yeah! Thats it! An idea!."

J.L.R.

01-11-2004, 09:44 PM

uh hem...Who let the dogs out?

Lost_Soul

01-11-2004, 10:55 PM

"Chaim, Itzik, God had two great ideas: beautiful women, and how to drink a potato."

Zaretsky from Herb Gardner's Conversations With My Father, in response to half a tumbler of straight vodka.

I know, none of you probably know what I'm talking about....

Loups_Garou

01-13-2004, 09:30 AM

"Hey, I think I hear one of them silent alarms..."

werewolfs_bite

01-14-2004, 01:46 PM

"I may be ugly, but at least i aint got no money!" - ICP :droolbloo
"Beer, the cause and solution to all my problens." - Homer J Simpson :beerchug:

kaycee

01-17-2004, 11:02 PM

Too many pages for me to read through in this thread so , I'm gonna take a chance and hope this quote hasn't been quoted yet.

In prison, they rub your arm with alcohol before inserting a lethal injection. ~ George Carlin

LycanSpectre

01-19-2004, 02:36 PM

Since the quotes formerly here were not funny, I moved them to the philosophy section.

Now for a funny quote:P
Game over man - LOSE
Man over Game - WIN

forgot where I saw that

varien

01-20-2004, 12:29 AM

"His brain has the amazing ability to not recognize life threatening injuries!" "...Are you telling me that he's too stupid to die?" - Bob and George, the Comic Strip

"Well, i should be going, do you promise not to kill anyone while im gone?" "No." "...Whatever" - Bob and George, the Comic Strip

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to be cool and mysterious while hanging upside-down? - Bob and George, the Comic Strip

ok, obviously i like that comic, but hey, its funny, thats about it

DarkHunter

01-21-2004, 05:42 PM

Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here-
As good as it Gets

Ain't yo mama teach you any manners when you was humpin her-
National Security

How do you write women so well?
I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability-
As Good as it Gets

DarkHunter

02-17-2004, 07:05 PM

Enlightenment strikes me as not needing humanity anymore
-Me

The KuroOkami

02-17-2004, 07:19 PM

The Crow
Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.

The Lost Boys
Better get yourself a garlic t-shirt buddy or it’s your funeral.

The Lost Boys
He wants to know what's going on, what's going on Marko? I dunno what's going on. what's going on Paul? Who wants to know? Michael wants to know.

The Lost Boys
Death by stereo.

Austin Powers
shall we shag now or shag later?

Wolf_Daemon_Kiniata

02-17-2004, 10:03 PM

"Never attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps." -anonymous

"M.A.T.H.S.- Many Angry Teachers Hurt Students" -anonymous

"Personally.....I don't believe in Athiesm." -anonymous

"You'd never guess it, but I have excellent.....uh.... .wha?" -anonymous

DamonCanine

02-18-2004, 12:00 AM

"*loud announcement over the PA system* SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!" - Apu's security system in an episode of The Simpsons

Trisha Takanowa(sp?): "You've just broken out of prison, what are you going to do now?"
Criminal: "I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend, and then I'm gonna KILL Chris Griffin!"
Stewie: "GOOD LORD! ... Can he really say 'bang my girlfriend' on TV?"
-- Family Guy, "To Live and Die in Dixie"

"I wouldn't remove that... it's a load-bearing poster." -- Bart Simpson, as the townspeople show Ned Flanders the new house they built for him.

"God help me, we're going to have to talk him RIGHT. DOWN. TO. THE. GROUND. *watermelon slams into a desk behind him and splatters everywhere*" -- "Airplane"

moonspirit

02-18-2004, 12:25 AM

uh hem...Who let the dogs out?hehehehe, cute one J.L.R:D:p

"are you sure you wont change your mind?" "...is there something wrong with the one i have?" -STIV

"...urge to kill...rising" -homer

"im not insane! see! the pink elephant agrees with me!" -my world civ teacher

"a negitive person brightens up the room...when they leave" -not sure, its been a while since ive heard this one

one of my old sig's "my memory is like a footprint...in a snow storm" -me:cool:

Darth Cluich

02-18-2004, 10:30 AM

"Trisha Takanowa(sp?): "You've just broken out of prison, what are you going to do now?"
Criminal: "I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend, and then I'm gonna KILL Chris Griffin!"
Stewie: "GOOD LORD! ... Can he really say 'bang my girlfriend' on TV?"
-- Family Guy, "To Live and Die in Dixie"

STEWIE RULES!!!

Corius bloodmoon

03-16-2004, 05:40 AM

"...And. WHY YOU!"
"But i didn't say anything!"
"No, but you thought..."
"Oh great, a telepath..." -Marshal Raynor and Sarah Kerrigan, Startcraft

WhiteCrowUK

03-16-2004, 04:29 PM

"If I were to stand outside my work with an Uzi, I'd run out of bullets before the company ran out of arseholes ..."

shadowhound

03-20-2004, 10:53 PM

"Are you trying to tell me coconuts migrate?"
Monty Python

"The American people have funny way of deciding what is, and what is not, their business" From the movie 'The American President'

And just about everything said by Jack Sparrow!

WhiteCrowUK

03-25-2004, 04:33 PM

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish ... then impose a fishing quota"

Old EU proverb

Corius bloodmoon

06-05-2004, 03:15 PM

"I don't like to kill people when i'm not getting paid for it. 'Sides, bullets are expensive as hell and a pain to get in this damn country."
"... Heheh... you spend hours in front of the mirror every day practising that tortured, angst-ridden stone cold kill routine, don't cha?"
"... Ookay... Forget what i said about not doing freebies... Meji, i'm going to kill you goddamn cat now."-Assasin and Ellis (Meji's familiar), errant story.

*bike goes of beeping in morse*
"Quick, Vince! What's it say?"
"It says... Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep."
-Vincent and Modo, "Biker mice from mars."

Blast me with a stungun and call me lame, but i truely love those quotes.

weird_al_werewolf

06-08-2004, 12:46 AM

Girl you must be Jamakin, because Jamakin me crazy

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box

If I were any dumber they would have to water me twice a week

"What's the hardest part of a plant to eat? ........... The wheelchair"- my dad

texwolf2004

06-14-2004, 03:49 PM

"It"s people like you why people like me are medicated."

the attached file is one of my fav's of stewie from the family guy show.

just thought of another one

Q: "did you just hear an audible pop?"
A: "that was the sound of your head popin out of your ass."

Something I say to most people I meet.

"So what trailer park did you grow up in??"

Louve

06-15-2004, 06:45 PM

" I'd rather kiss a wookie!" Princess Leia Organa in Star Wars

"Something to remeber me by..." Monica Belucci after giving Fronsac "a token" in Brotherhood of the Wolves

"You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!" Hermione Granger in POA

"Unhand that savage! You...Savage!" John Darling to Captain Hook in Peter Pan

Gilenea

06-15-2004, 09:21 PM

Homer: No beer and no TV make Home go something... something...

Bart: Crazy?

Homer: DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!!!!

:D *Cracks up*

Gil

coldironlady

06-16-2004, 12:47 AM

"sometimes you'er the bug and sometimes you'er the windsheild."

"there are two kinds of people would will never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else."

"all the things i really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattering."

"never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

"for very person who wants the truth at all costs. there are a thousand who want an illusion at all costs."

MyztDream

06-25-2004, 11:45 PM

The Salary Axiom: " The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take home pay."

"You take your life into your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." -Erica Jong

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove something that's even remotley true!" -Homer Simpson

"Life is life a B-grade movie. You don't want to leave in the middle of it, but you don't want to see it again." -Ted Turner

Originality is the art of concealing your resouces.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work any way.

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio, the other guy took the engine." -David Letterman

"There are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

"I knew it was going to be a long season when , on opening day during the national anthem, one of my players turns to me and says, 'Every time I hear that song, I have a bad game.'"
-Baseball Manager Jim Leyland

Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

"To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." Winnie the Pooh

"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shal get there." Winnie the Pooh

"Never give black coffee to an intoxicated person. You may wind up wit a wide awake driunk on you hands." -Ann Landers

Tigatron

06-28-2004, 08:46 AM

I don't care where it came from, I'm more worried where it's going. (Cliffjumper, TF Movie.)

Happy Motoring, COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!! (Wreck-Gar, TF Movie)

Why does it talk like a lamb? (Lisa Simpson)

We're all gonna die!!! (Rattrap, Beast Wars)

Let's rip them apart (?, The Ripping Friends)

We've got the monkey that has the cure (?, Outbreak)

Bart: Ha Ha! You're gonna be Lisa Flanders!
Lisa: Well you're gonna be Bart Flanders!
Bart" NOOOOOOOO!!
(THe Simpsons)

Well that's all I know so far.

Wolf_Daemon_Kiniata

06-28-2004, 02:53 PM

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

"We're men, *manly men* we're men in tights *tight tights*
We steal from the rich, we give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but watch what you say or else
we'll punch out your lights!"

Robin: "Hey Blinkin! What're you doing up there?"
Blinkin: "Guessing.....I guess.....no one's coming....."
Robin: "Blinkin get down from there!"

Later...

Blinkin: "I CAN SEE!" **THWACK!** "No, no, I was wrong."

forestwolf

06-29-2004, 12:07 PM

"you suck ya jackass"-happy gillmor
"i thought there were blanks in that gun!
holy shit!
there were blanks in that gun!
holy shit!
ext..."-aninal house
"i once seen a man get his eyes plucked out of his head by an egale"-almost heros
"nudey magazien day, nudey magazine day"-billy madison

Gandolf

06-29-2004, 02:33 PM

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room.

.And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, 'Hey, here's a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!'

The poor Canadian snowboarder, in the 1998 Olympics, they took away his medal because he tested positive for marijuana, which is kinda redundant number one, number two, they said that marijuana was a "performance-enhancing drug".
[buzzer sound]
Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not fucking empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big fucking Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!"

And every year the French go, "He is on chemicals." And I'm going, "It's chemotherapy, you little toad suckers." "Okay, he has one testicle, he's aerodynamic. Everyone, cut off your balls. You'll be quicker. Do it. Don't be afraid."

commenting on 9/11]
When this whole thing happened, I thought the Statue of Liberty would change. Instead of "Give me your tired and your poor," it would be her with a baseball bat going "You want a piece of me."

This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.

For those playing the home game, this is called a Prince Albert. And I'm sure that was his last wish. I'm sure Albert said, "Victoria, I'm dying. I want you to name a museum, a performance hall, and a bolt through the cock after me."

All these quotes Robin Williams baby!!!

Peace Love Dope
Miquel anthony Cremeans

alue_wolf_spirit

06-30-2004, 02:41 AM

I've gone to find myself, If I get back before I get back, have Me leave a message, Thank you

I've kidnapped myself, give a a million dollars, or you will never see me again

CORONOR: I'm here for your bady
FBI: Federal body Inspector
CSI: Can't Stand Idiots
The voices in my head don't like the voices in your head
We're not schitzo

Shutup, before I poke out your eyes and skull**** you to death

perpetual sorrow

07-04-2004, 02:07 PM

"Shut up brain,before i stab you with a Q-tip" Homer simpson

Hagakure

07-04-2004, 04:28 PM

"I admire your courage. I think I'll eat your heart."
--Hannibal Lector

WahteverKittyK

07-16-2004, 03:21 AM

perpetual sorrow's avatar.

And of course, a classic, "before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do, your a mile away and you have their shoes."

Sable

07-16-2004, 06:32 PM

"This is not burger king, federal express, or the library of congress, therefore I do not do it your way, deliver overnight or know everything." ~David H.

Homicidal maniacs look just like you and me. ~powerpossum

I'm thinking of you as an organic idocy collector, a mathmatical point where all of the stupidity of this world seems to collect. ~I only remember Anansie givin that one.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror. ~Oscar Wilde

Galileo could no more be elected president of the united states than he could be elected pope of rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by god with an extrodinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self illusion. ~HL Mencken(my handwriting turned to gibbrish at this point, so if you know the guy then you know the right spelling.)

DarkHunter

07-18-2004, 06:45 PM

Just keep dancing like this with me Garraty and I'll never tire. We'll scrap our feet on the moon and hang upside down from the stars- McVries, The Long Walk

MetalMaster

07-18-2004, 07:18 PM

I got a couple here...

A friend would call you in jail. A good friend would visit you in jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you in jail saying "THAT WAS AWESOME!" ~~~Some friend~~~

If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten only once too. It takes four minutes to get hard, and only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, life isnt that bad! ~~~Another friend~~~

Okami Ryu Kurai

07-19-2004, 02:18 AM

"No, no, no, I wasn't trying to intimidate him. I was, but I wasn't trying."
-Me in a dream after being taken to the principal's office for intimidating a teacher(?!).

"That's not a threat. That would be a promise."
-Numerous.

"Bad box, BAD! You're making me think at five in the morning, and that will always bring much bloodshed."
-Me to a TV dinner I couldn't figure out how to open.

"ASSULT! ASSULT!"
-People at my lunch table after we were informed by the HOM (short for Hairy Old Man) at lunch that jokingly hitting someone with an empty bottle was assult.

"This is a yes or no question."
"Um, can I buy a vowel?"

"You can be all evil and hate everybody and stuff, but there's no need to be rude about it."
-Me

TeChNo

07-19-2004, 02:40 AM

"Good music is good music and that should be enough for anyone" -- Brad Nowell

"Yah man. I'll gnaw off your face.
-- Teh C" -- The Cheat

"If you can't stand reading subtitles don't make movies.
If you're not willing to sleep three or four hours a day for cinema don't make movies.
If you can't write your own screenplays don't make movies.
If you do it for the attention or to attract the opposite sex don't make movies.
If your ego can easily kick your talent's ass don't make movies.
If you dismiss everybody's opinion as inferior to yours don't make movies.
If you don't 'get' black and white films don't make them.
If the black bars in the top and bottom of your television annoy you turn it off and and stare at your reflection while you drink.
If you think lore makes a good, original story stay at home and knit.
If you have dialogue that starts with 'have you ever noticed' kill me." --"Ferny" Flores

Sable

07-21-2004, 07:52 AM

"Computers allow us to make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." ~Mitch Radcliff

"Vanity is as ill as ease under indifference as tenderness is under a love which it cannot return." -George Eliot

"The world is your mirror and your mind is a magnet. What you perceive is in this world is largely a reflection of your own attitudes and beliefs. Life will give you what you attract with your thoughts think, act and talk negatively and your world will be negative. Think and act and talk with enthusiasm and you will attract positive results." ~Michael LeBeuf

Lemieux Dashing

07-21-2004, 10:51 AM

"Homicidal maniacs look just like you and me. ~powerpossum "

Wasn't it Wednesday from the Addams Family that said that?
Okay, I'll try to be good now....

I love you when you're not masterminding my downfall.
-BF Steph.

Your Magesty is like a jelly donut..... your presence brings us great joy and your departure only leaves us hungry for more.
-Monty Python, shortened. (I'd add the other parts, but
my granny would never forgive me...)

Here's hopin'....
-Dashing

WhiteCrowUK

07-21-2004, 06:27 PM

I cannot believe I havent included this one yet from Big Trouble in Little China ...

Just listen to the old Pork Chop Express and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, all right? When some wild-eyed eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against a bar room wall and looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you "Have you paid your dues?", well you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye and you remember what ol' Jack Burton says at a time like that: "Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check's in the mail".

Klark

07-22-2004, 10:04 AM

"Wait til they get a load of me." - The Joker on Batman :D

chriz

07-22-2004, 10:17 AM

I scanned about 2/3 the thread, so sorry if these have been said. From a very funny cult movie out of the 80s:

Chris: Kent puts his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mother used to do that with my underwear.
Chris: Your mother puts license plates on your underwear? How do you sit?

[after being effectively hung with his own rope]
Mitch: What you doing?
Chris: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"

[reviewing a brilliant 16-year-old for early college admission]
Hathaway: So tell me, Mitch, are you gonna miss your friends?
Mitch: Well no I think I intimidated the other kids.
Hathaway: Good boy

Mitch: This is coherent light.
Mitch's dad: So it talks?

Major Carnagle: Where's the laser?
Hathaway: It's coming.
Major Carnagle: It's coming? It's not even breathing hard!
(yes, this is where I got that joke)

Lady: Tell me, what's Einstein really like?
Hathaway: Dead.

Chris: We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races and we had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

Chris: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
Chris: Oh. Then I guess you have.

Lemieux Dashing

07-22-2004, 11:46 AM

"for every onion i find i will kill you," Stewy
I just told that yesterday, but I accidentaly said 'sprinkle'.....I feel so stupid.

-Dashing

Wraywolf

07-22-2004, 12:09 PM

Actually, it WAS sprinkle, not onion.

Sable

07-22-2004, 12:32 PM

knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard...be evil!!! ~bumper sticker

now for pulp fiction quotes:
It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holyies, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit. ~jules

VINCENT: I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. And you're crossin' it. I'm a race car and you got me in the red. Redline 7000, that's where you are. Just know, it's fuckin' dangerous to be drivin' a race car when it's in the red. It could blow.
JULES: You're gettin' ready to blow? I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm "SUPERFLY T.N.T," I'm the "GUNS OF NAVARONE." I'm what Jimmie Walker usta talk about. In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker should be on brain detail. We're tradin'. I'm washin' windows and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull.

I'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina I want a nigger hidin' in a bowl of rice waitin' to pop a cap in his ass. ~Marsellus

*hugs her new copy of pulp fiction*

Klark

07-22-2004, 01:40 PM

If these were posted before, forgive me, but since the mention of Pulp Fiction, I remembered that Samuel L. Jackson delivers the best lines and what better movie with what better lines exists other than The Long Kiss Goodnight (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0116908/quotes) where he plays Mitch Hennesey:

Mitch Henessey: How did you find us?
Nathan: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.
Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.

Charlie: Goddamn it. You're early. So Perkins wants me dead, huh? What's the rush? Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight? Shoo.
Alley Agent: Hey, honey, this is a real big fucking gun.
Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye pal.
Charlie: What the hell are you doing?
Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that 'ham on rye' line.

Mitch Henessey: I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest.

Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building.
Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

Charlie: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
Mitch Henessey: I took lessons.

Nathan: Alice, please? Your dog, Alice - it and my appetite are mutually exclusive.
Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: Simple: he's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention and I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge, is either gone for good... or there to stay.

Alley Agent: Good evening, pretty lady. How 'bout some company?
Charlie: No thanks. I'm saving myself 'til I get raped.

And there's more on that link. This movie has some of the best lines ever delivered.

Dark Ashes X-13

07-24-2004, 03:54 PM

here's some

"If you can't find the forest on account of the trees, you might be a redneck."

"If the windows on your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does, you might be a redneck."

"If your mama tore her best dress possum hunting, you might be a redneck."

Here are some seemingly normal words, but here is the redneck usage of them

"Mayonnaise"---"Mannaise allotta people here tonight!"

"Innitiate"---"My mama ate a bag of chips, anitiate a hampster."

"Wijadija"---"You didn't bring your truck wija, dija?"

I hope you get those...much better if said outloud.

By the way, In the Holy Grail quote, it's

"Must be a king."
"Why?"
"Hasn't got shit all over 'em"

Dark Ashes X-13 lol lol lol

ps My favorite quote is my signature...It came from a Freakazoid episode!

Gilenea

07-24-2004, 06:34 PM

"God DAMMIT, monster!" - Chef's Dad off of Southpark.

Gil

McKitty

07-24-2004, 08:10 PM

I love that movie Chriz :)

"Have you ever had a dream where you're dressed in Sun God robes on top of an Aztec Prymaid and have hundreds of naked women throwing tiny pickles at you?"
"No."
"Am I the only one who has that dream?"

"Moles and Trolls, Moles and Trolls, work, work, work, work, work."

chriz

07-24-2004, 09:38 PM

McKitty

07-24-2004, 10:12 PM

Wait... You love Real Genius, and you're female and under 30..?

The mind boggles. Are you married?

No, I'm not married ...and didn't we already have this conversation? I distinctly remember this, and DS3 was tossed in the mix too.

Oh, and I LOVE Real Genius and Weird Science as well.

chriz

07-24-2004, 10:26 PM

Oh, and I LOVE Real Genius and Weird Science as well.

Foul temptress!

WhiteCrowUK

07-25-2004, 02:58 AM

perpetual sorrow

07-25-2004, 01:39 PM

"Believe it or not George isn't at home, please leave a message after beep. i must be off or I'd pick up the phone, where could I be, believe it or not im not home"

George costanza's answering machine from seinfeld

Wolfboy

08-09-2004, 05:33 PM

I don't know if this counts as a quote:

MY FRIEND'S SISITER ONCE SAID:
'Can you tell me how big twenty kilometres is?'

DarknessBloodbane

08-10-2004, 01:58 PM

Forgot who said it (it MAY be from Tremors, form the sounds of it), but saw it on someones quote thingy on MSn..

"There are two things in the known universe that can solve every problem known to man. Lots of high explosives, and deep f**king holes."

Zombie

08-20-2004, 03:38 PM

"Ive got a meat cannon loaded for bare ass"

Me, 2 weeks ago

-Zombie

Sin of Humanity

09-01-2004, 11:47 PM

Just some from Army of Darkness:

"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun."

"You got something on your face."

"I'm gonna cut your gizzard off... Hey where'd he go?"

Mallrats:

"Hey its a schooner!"
"It's a sail boat you dumbass."
"A schooner is a sailboat dummy!"
"THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! THATS JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!"

I dunno the source of this one:
"Light thinks its the fastest thing in the universe, nothing faster than light. But darkness is always there first!"

An optimest thinks this is the best of all worlds, a pessimist fears this is true.

Get your gun, cause Gods not comeing tonight!

Xavious

09-05-2004, 09:33 PM

"No you stay here... this is between me and the vegetable"

*at the dentists, dentist is holding several old dentistry tools*
"Looks like I'm going to need some laughing gas for this."
"Oh thank god"
"It's not for you it's for me"
Both from The Little Shop of Horrors

Binkx

09-06-2004, 12:34 AM

"Why do the call it a fart, you don't sit there and 'faaaaaaaaart', you *makes farting noise with mouth*" - Alicia (next dor neighbor)

"Same with burping" - Brandon (also next door)

"And Sneezing" - Nancy (A friend)

"How do you Ah! Sneeze?" - Brandon (mis heard Nancy)

We were all chilling outside when this odd subject came up.

polarbear

09-06-2004, 10:34 AM

Be Excellent To Each Other. :)

perpetual sorrow

09-06-2004, 02:32 PM

Whan something goes bad,remember it can be worse.

I don't know where I heard it, maybe a friend or something

Klark

09-06-2004, 06:49 PM

"Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?" - Yoda

perpetual sorrow

09-07-2004, 01:26 PM

Talk about others in the same way you would like them to talk about you.

Knowledge is power,not just mere ornament or argument.

Who does not say much,has too much to say.

Jealousy is the great dividing force of friendship.

I don't know where I got them but, I think they are great

Faerie_flame

09-13-2004, 02:44 PM

WhiteCrowUK

09-13-2004, 04:43 PM

The Professionals (1966)

J.W. Grant (Bellamy) You bastard!
Fardan (Marvin): In my case an accident of birth, but you, sir, are a self-made man.

DoubleStar3

09-13-2004, 05:08 PM

"We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy - instead of endeavoring to think so ourselves" -Confucius

"When life hands you lemons... ask for tequila and salt." - some email I recieved.

"Every moment is a second chance" -Eight Mile Movie

"We do not always see things as they are... but as they appear."

"If you look deeper at something you consider to be bad, you may just find something good."

"Kill them with Kindness."

adom

09-15-2004, 03:44 AM

Jesus loves you, it's just the rest of the world that hates you- some girls' school bag

Mrs. Plevin will be taking care of the front end, and I'll be coming up the rear- some very stupid teachers (courtesy of Lycan_bites)

You mean Asia is a continent?- a friend I should really stop hanging around with
Wait! Is Asia a continent?

How many continents are there? Are they teaching Asia is its own now, instead of calling it Eurasia like back in the day? (Actually they let you get away with it both ways back then, which never made a damn bit of sense to me.) Anyway, off topic. Just trying to clear up this continent thing.

Beltei-Plague

09-18-2004, 10:23 AM

Comedy Cut @ 5:20

DJ Danny: I'm not saying the name of the restaraunt, but it rhymes with Fred Robster. Now, in this place, you can't sit next to the tanks, because the lobsters have a look on their face like, "So, any word from the governor?"
That's why you order a couple of shots before you order your food, because by then you're acting like a roman emperor, and the waiter says,
"Sir, what would you like to eat?"
"BRING ME THE BROWN ONE, HE AMUSES ME!"
"Would you like anything to drink, sir?"
"WIIIIINE!"
"Anything else, sir?
"Yes, tell me why Roman Emperors always seem to have british accents."

DL Lycan

09-19-2004, 06:10 AM

George bush quotes(nothing personal)
defence speach"Our enemy's are looking for different way's to defeat America, But so are we!"
economy"it's becoming aware to me that more and more of our American Imports are foreign"

Lycan_bites

09-19-2004, 09:09 AM

"I am not just another cheesecake pot." - Sophia Loren

Firesong

09-19-2004, 04:13 PM

I find your lack of faith ...disturbing!
~Darth Vader~

taintedsilver

09-19-2004, 07:03 PM

enjoy this selection i hand picked for you!

light travels faster then sound. that is why people appear bright before speaking" or sum thing like that.- a friend

if knowledge is power why do idiots run the world? - me

"did he rip off moreheads" hermione ootp

"poionus toadstools don change their spots."

are you telling us that the firt time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

lifes a bitch then you die so fuck it all and go get high

how many veggies had to die for your salad?

8675309. louis? damn!- stewie

ill be here all week! shred the veal!

Louve

09-20-2004, 10:20 AM

"I don't know where you get your delusions laser brain!" Princess Leia

"I've got a bad feeling about this!" Han Solo

"It was very nice..." Dr. Jones Sr. (Sean Connery as Indy's dad in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

MyztDream

10-02-2004, 12:22 AM

"I knew it was going to be a long season, when on opening day during the national anthem, one of my players turn to me and says, 'Everytime I hear that song, i have a bad game." -Baseball manager Jim Leyland

"Growing old id like beign increasingly penalized of ra crime you haven't committed." -Anthony Powell English author, at age 68.

"Democracy is a terrible form of government, but it's the best one we've have come up with yet." -Winston Churchill

"We showed weakness and weak people are beaten." Vladimir Putin on the Chechnian attack on the elementary school

"nobody gorws old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals." -Douglas MacArthur