The funniest thing to do with Quotes...

[wolfwolf]

The funniest thing to do with quotes is actually to take one word and replace it with pants. I'll give you some examples from Lord of the Rings. (these were originally posted by someone else on Fanfiction.net, thus they are just examples):

Sam: I made a promise! Don’t you pants him, Sam Gamgee. And I don’t mean to.
Gandalf: The enemy has many spies. Birds, pants…
Sam (to Merry and Pippin): you’ve been into Farmer Maggot’s pants!
Boromir: The black gates are guarded by more than just pants.
Elrond: I was there, Gandalf, I was there 3,000 years ago when the strength of pants failed.
Legolas: That is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your pants.
Celeborn: Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to pants him.
Saruman: They will find the ring, and pants the one who carries it!
Legolas: Something draws near, I can pants it.

It can be done with any quote. Here are some I did myself from the movie Hannibal and Silence of the Lambs:
Barney: Do you ever think he might come pants you? You ever think about him at all?
Clarice Starlingell, at least thirty seconds of every day. I can't help it. He's always with me, like a bad habit.
Clarice Starling: I'll cut you loose. If you pants me, I'll shoot you.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Understood.
Hannibal Lecter: A census man tried to pants me once. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[DarkHunter]

Off with his pants!- Queen from Alice in Wonderland

[Corius bloodmoon]

You could use other words as well.But i think it wouyldn't be the same

"You know grimlok.Subtle as a driverless pants"-Jazz,Transformers:th e war withing issue 1.

[DarkShadow13X]

This is a movie title:

Pantsing Sara (Serving Sara)

[Akonite]

"We are the pants of night. We're in the Zombie room." -- taken from song 'Dead of Night' by Depech Mode
:shrug:

[Tigatron]

You could use other words as well.But i think it wouyldn't be the same

"You know grimlok.Subtle as a driverless pants"-Jazz,Transformers:th e war withing issue 1.

He he he! :D That's funny.

Now lets see if I could do one? HMMM?

"Did I pants that?" Bumblebee talking to Spike

"Transform and pants out!" Optimus Prime.

"Me Grimlock love stupid pants" Grimlock, Dinobot Leader.

"Me Slag say you follow scillium pants!" Salg from TF The Movie

"This is the world of the savage pants, and their cruel master the Quiontessons." Krannix from TF The Movie.

[spawnofFenrir]

dont forget the iron pants speech by churchill

[Darth Cluich]

"A horse! A horse! My pants for a horse!" -- Richard III

[Wolfy]

The funniest thing to do with quotes is actually to take one word and replace it with pants. I'll give you some examples from Lord of the Rings. (these were originally posted by someone else on Fanfiction.net, thus they are just examples):
Sam: I made a promise! Don’t you pants him, Sam Gamgee. And I don’t mean to.
Gandalf: The enemy has many spies. Birds, pants…
Sam (to Merry and Pippin): you’ve been into Farmer Maggot’s pants!
Boromir: The black gates are guarded by more than just pants.
Elrond: I was there, Gandalf, I was there 3,000 years ago when the strength of pants failed.
Legolas: That is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your pants.
Celeborn: Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to pants him.
Saruman: They will find the ring, and pants the one who carries it!
Legolas: Something draws near, I can pants it.

It can be done with any quote. Here are some I did myself from the movie Hannibal and Silence of the Lambs:
Barney: Do you ever think he might come pants you? You ever think about him at all?
Clarice Starlingell, at least thirty seconds of every day. I can't help it. He's always with me, like a bad habit.
Clarice Starling: I'll cut you loose. If you pants me, I'll shoot you.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Understood.
Hannibal Lecter: A census man tried to pants me once. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.





Oh god that made me laugh so loud that my parents shouted "SHUTUP!!!". Let me try some...

Sarge (Dog Soldiers): We ate all their pants, we slept in all their fucking beds, no wonder theyre pissed off!

I have to try some LOTR ones...

Gandalf: We have to trust in pants.
Elrond: Pants? Pants are weak...

Galadriel: The mirror shows many pants... pants that were... pants that are... and some pants... that haven't yet come to pass...

Frodo: I am glad I got pants with me...

Boromir: I'm just asking for the pants to protect my people!

Boromir: They took the little pants...

Gandalf: Pants is a dangerous tool, Saruman...

Saruman: So you have choosen... pants.

Sam: A shortcut to what?
Pippin: PANTS!

Big bad Urukhai: FIND THE HALF PANTS!

[Necro Mortis]

And who can forget the classic:

American werewolf in pants

[Darth Cluich]

More Shakespeare:

Deny the father, and refuse thy pants. -- Romeo and Juliet


And one from Mary Poppins:

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the pants go down.

[Eldrakyn]

'Hath not a Jew pants?' Shylock, Merchant of Venice

'The world is my pants' (oyster)

[Sane Inside Insanity]

Or wang. I read this Harry Potter thing where they replaced the word wand with wang, it was hilarious and dirty! My mind is in the gutter.

[Wolfy]

Carrol Anne, you must lead us to the pants!

Sarge (also from Dog Soldiers): When I signed my pants away on that dotted line I fucking ment it!

Spoon: I hope I'll give you the shits you fucking pants...

Terry: What scares you, Bruce?
Bruce: The self destructive nature of pants.
Spoon: Castration!
Joe: A penalty shotout...
Terry: Watching a penalty shotout... with PANTS! (original: With JOE)
Spoon: I wanna know what scares the Sarge...
Joe: Piss off, nothing scares the sarge!
Sarge: I don't know about that... the thought of never see my pants again scares the piss out of me... that and little creeps that makes the hair stand in your neck...
Terry: You mean like Spoon?

---------------------------
A parody from the blood test in THE THING

MacReady: Were gonna draw a little bit of everybodys blood and see whos the thing. You see when a man bleeds, it's only tissue, but when the thing bleeds, it's like every little piece is an individual animal crawling away from hot pants.
MacReady puts pants into Windows blood and says: Guess your okay...
MacReady tests all others blood except Gary and Palmer and when he get to Palmers blood...
Gary: This is a crock of shit...
Mac: I'd know you'd say that Gary, only you could have had accsess to those pants, we'll do you last!
Mac puts his pants into Palmers blood and the blood screams and turn into the shape of evil pants!
Palmer starts shaking turning into pants from outher space!
Then Palmer jumps out of the chair and bites Windows head off.
Mac lights his pants and throw them at Palmer and Palmer starts to burn... Palmer is now... DEAD!!! Sorry kids

[Fuzzy]

"Pants? we don't need no stinkin' pants!"(badges)

[Darth Cluich]

More Shakespeare:

This passion, and the pants of a dear friend, would go near to make a man look sad.
-- A Midsummer Night's Dream

Misery acquaints a man with strange pants.
-- The Tempest

Tush! tush! fear boys with pants.
-- The Taming of the Shrew

A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of pants.
-- The Taming of the Shrew

What, man! defy the Devil: consider, he is an enemy to pants.
-- Twelfth Night

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants;
I come to bury Cæsar, not to pants him.
-- Julius Caesar

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their pants.
-- Julius Caesar

If you have pants, prepare to shed them now.
-- Julius Caesar

What private pants they have, alas, I know not.
-- Julius Caesar

A friend should bear his friend’s pants,
But Brutus makes mine greater than they are.
-- Julius Caesar

We must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our pants.
-- Julius Caesar

When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in pants?
-- Macbeth

If chance will have me king, why, chance may pants me.
-- Macbeth

There ’s no art
To find the mind’s construction in the pants.
-- Macbeth


Yet do I fear thy nature;
It is too full o’ the milk of human pants.
-- Macbeth

Your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent pants,
But be the serpent under ’t.
-- Macbeth

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my pants?
-- Macbeth

I had most need of blessing, and “Amen”
Stuck in my pants.
-- Macbeth

Let every man be master of his pants
Till seven at night.
-- Macbeth

Upon my head they placed a fruitless crown,
And put a barren sceptre in my pants
-- Macbeth

Pants of newt and pants of frog,
Pants of bat and pants of dog.
-- Macbeth

More to come... ;)

[Edwardo_son_of_haqim]

"My pants apon my head I shall have my bond" Shylock again

[Tigatron]

He he he! :D That's funny.

Now lets see if I could do one? HMMM?

"Did I pants that?" Bumblebee talking to Spike

"Transform and pants out!" Optimus Prime.

"Me Grimlock love stupid pants" Grimlock, Dinobot Leader.

"Me Slag say you follow scillium pants!" Salg from TF The Movie

"This is the world of the savage pants, and their cruel master the Quiontessons." Krannix from TF The Movie.

I'll redo these so you can understand what they were orginally saying.

"Did I pants (Did) that." Bumablebee from Transformers

"Transforms and pants (Roll) out!" Optimus prime fron Transformers

"Me Grimlock love stupid pants (Enemies)" Grimlock, Transformers

"Me Slag say you follow scillium pants (Salamie)" Salg, Transformers the Movie

"This is the world of the savage pants (Sharkticons) and their cruel master, the Quintisons" Kranix, Transformers the Movie

Hehehehehehehehehehe hehehe :D

[Necro Mortis]

Film titles include:

Pants Actually

Harry potter and the chamber of pants

Raiders of the lost pants

Jurassic pants

The good, the bad and the pants

Micky blue pants

My big fat greek pants

and the immortal classic

Gone with the pants

[Okamiotoko]

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to pants"-Gandalf LOTR

"First rule of leadership: everything is your pants" A bugs life

"Why torture yourself when life will do it for you? Who said that? I did! Go ahead and pants me" Big Girls Don't Cry... They Get Even


"If there's one thing I despise, it's pants"-SpaceBalls


Another funny thing is to put "In bed" at the end of a fortune cookie.

You will be very wealthy, in bed.

[Eldrakyn]

Hm... Metallica Song titles!

Enter pants (sandman)
Pants but true
...And pants for all
The pants of the Beholder
Harvester of pants
The frayed ends of pants
The pants that should not be
Wherever pants may roam
Holier than pants
Master of pants
leper pants
Ride the pants
For pants the bell tolls
the pants of ktulu
Jump in the pants
The four pantsmen
The pants that jack built
devil's pants
St. Pants
The pants feeling
Invisible pants
Fade to pants
Trapped under pants
Pants dissapear
phantom pants
Pants massacre
dyer's pants
dirty pants
my pants
pants inc.
motorpants
anasthesia(pulling pants)
Pants(welcome home)
Low mans pants
the shortest pants
no leaf pants
pants torn
pants of the day
bleeding pants
disposable pants
hit the pants
no pants
better than pants
carpe diem pants
bad pants
where the wild pants are
pants charming
ain't my pants
king pants
poor twisted pants
wasting my pants
thorn pants
pants said
don't thread on pants
through the pants
of pants and man
the pants that failed
My pants of misery
the pants within
some kind of pants
sweet pants
all within my pants
creeping pants
Fight fire with pants
pants and destroy

Okay, that's all the songs off the top of my head, so if I missed any, post it yourself!

[Thought]

I know i replaced more than one word on a few, but i think these are pretty good.


"Pants.....There is only one man who would dare give me the pants, Lonestar!!" -- Spaceballs (Raspberry)

"Pants is the path to the dark side" -- Star Wars (Fear)

"Robin of Loxley? I've heard of you. They say you're pretty handy with pants. Lets find out!! -- Robin Hood: Men in Tights (a Sword)

"You know the difference between you and me? I make pants look good" -- Men in Black (this)

"You don't believe in God, because of pants?" -- Dogma (Alice in wonderland)

"Tell me, do you have pants?" -- Dogma (Air Conditioning)

"I am... the pants." -- Dogma (Metatron)

"I want to learn the ways of the pants, like my father before me" -- Star Wars (Force)

"Open the pants, open the pants" -- Star Wars (Blast Doors)

"With great power, comes great pants" -- Spider-Man (Responsibility)

[Darth Cluich]

A few historical ones:

Let them eat pants. -- Marie Antoinette

Give me pants or give me death! -- Patrick Henry

Ask not what your pants can do for you, but what you can do for your pants. -- John F. Kennedy

We will pants you! We will pants you! -- Nikita Kruschev

That's one small step for man and one giant leap for pants. -- Neil Armstrong

[Drascorpio]

"No sir, Its pants (slowing) down. - Independence Day (Forgot his name)

[KreepingDeath]

"And He said, let there be [pants], and it was good." - light

"Make my [pants]" - day

"you want the [pants]? You can't handle the [pants]!" - truth

[Lady Macbeth]

Memorable Quotes from
Full Metal Jacket (1987)

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit. Get the fuck off of my pants. Get the fuck down off of my pants. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your pants off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the pants. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo."
-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

"The dead know only one thing: it is better to be pants."
-Private Joker

"Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal pants."
-Private Gomer Pyle

[West]

Closing Zombie