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Xzengrim
10-12-2003, 01:33 AM
The Mad Scientist's Guide To Werewolves

Not only is Grim a scientist, he also happens to be German... and a little cruel when he lets himself. So I have decided to try being a Mad Scientist. And these are some experiments someone ought to do with werewolves. (P-shifting movie kind, not just therians)

1) I wish to paint the hair of a human-form werewolf with blacklight sensitive green dye. Then I will have them shift, and look at the result under a blacklight to determine what happens to follicle patterns when fur grows.
2) Freeze werewolves, to see how they react to the cold. What temp, at any particular one, do they have to shift to survive?
3) Test to see if shift can be triggered by electric shock, ultrasonic noise frequency, or different intensity/patterns of light.
4) Score the flesh with silver, and then with steel. How does the silver wound heal differently, if at all?
5) Document body temperature, heart rate, brainwave activity, blood pressure of werewolf during and after shift.
6) Expose werewolf to aconitum lycoctonum (wolfsbane), nuclear radiation, silver nitrate, iron, and moonstone (seperately, of course) to see if anything happens.
7) Bind the hands, feet, and head, and then initiate shift. WHat happens when limbs are left without room to change?
8) Amputate hand and also tail to see what happens when the limb is cut off from blood supply. Then try it again, this time immediately freezing the appendages in liquid nitrogen. This may make it possible to take samples.
9) Dissect werewolf hands, feet, jaw, stomach, brain for reasearch.
10) Vivisect face, hands, forearms (+ wrists), eyes, chest, and feet. Retain samples of skin, teeth, eyes, tongue, spine, upper pallate, sinuses, mastoid muscles for collection.

Those are the first ten experiments. They are very general, non Gender-specific lycanthropy 101 type experiments. I'm currently seeking business partners to help fund my laboratory and for Hunters who could sell me live werewolves as well as werewolf corpses. I also need some human subjects to use as control groups. Payment is negotiable. Business partners will be silent partners: they will never see my work or know the details of what goes on, but they stand to recieve a portion of the money generated by my work. I will make a profit by skinning the werewolves and selling the pelts on the black market. The flayed bodies will then be melted down in a heated, pressurized canister of acid. The sludge will be sifted, and the remains dumped at sea. That way we won't be caught. SPeaking of we, I also need a laboratory assistant. Preferably either a) hunchbacked, with a vaguely Slavic accent or, b) leggy, female, and completely heartless.
Here is a chance for aspiring Hunters to prove themselves! PS: I will pay extra for the following: a really fat werewolf, identical twins, fraternal twins, werewolves with genetic defects, a pregnant (female) werewolf, unuasually large or small werewolves, very young werewolves.
Due to the small size of this first laboratory, I will only be able to accept six wolves at a time. Four males, one female, and one from the list of extras posted above. I plan to import a Gothic castle, or maybe buy some kind of ranch, for my research when I have enough money. But for now, I'll use the basement.
ThanX.
(PS: This is some Dark-ass humor. Please don't be offended.)

blueeyes
10-12-2003, 09:41 AM
1) Fur will develop either a swirl-like pattern or flow straight backwards. The 'new' fur, on arms and such, would only be green on the tips.
2) Depending on species, clothes, or personality, ranges from 0 to -25 C.
3) Yes, no (unless you irritate the wolf enough), no.
4) The silver injury would take days to heal, and would develop a reddish-green appearance. It would also be much deeper than the actual cuts.
5) All increase to normal human 'high-activity', then lower down to animal norms.
6).Wolfsbane - Nothing (unless you feed it. Wolfsbane is poisonous)
...Radiation - very little at less than 900 rems (blisters and stomach aches) then death after,
...Silver Nitrate - bad burns
...Iron - nothing
...Moonstone - nothing.
7) Broken limbs and dislocated joints.
8) Limb begins to decay. May change, if subject was already changing at time of loss.

On other subjects, I could may be available as a lab assistant, as heartless I have already developed. There would be a problem when I attempted my employer's experiments on him, though.

lycanox
10-12-2003, 10:54 AM
3) Test to see if shift can be triggered by electric shock, ultrasonic noise frequency, or different intensity/patterns of light.

I belive the Feraliminal lycanthropizer can trigger shifts. ;)

Xzengrim
10-13-2003, 01:00 AM
Ohhh... mad science!! The thing is, they always say that werewolves (and even parts of them) revert to whatever their natural form is if they die, or if limbs are severed. This obviously presents problems in taking samples and in conducting further research.

Wraywolf
10-13-2003, 04:38 PM
To prevent people from raising emotional barriers to your experimentation, I suggest presenting an altered werewolf to the scientific community. Make sure to destroy the lycanthropes mind, through radiation our over does of chemicals that target the brain. Once the lycanthrope is a raving idiot, show it off. The idea that all lycanthropes are brain dead animals, and not real thinking humans, will help destroy any sort of morale barriers that bars your research.

Other experimentation I would recommend is werewolf/human offspring compared to werewolf/werewolf offspring. This will be a lengthy process, but information gathered could be used for genetic splicing. It is perhaps wishful thinking, but maybe the human genome could be combined with some lycanthropic DNA samples. You could have all the bounces of being a werewolf, with more control, and fine-tuned senses. You could be a hybrid, or a shifter. In theory, of coarse.

Some experimentation I would be rather interested in is the state of a werewolf’s libido. Are the sexual drives and desires of a werewolf more intense than a humans? How do werewolves differ from humans in sexual performance? How do they mate, or if they do not mate, how do they deal with sexual tension? Is it possible that there are homosexual werewolves, and if there are, does sexual preference remain constant in both human and wolf forms? The information here would help us understand what werewolves are, in terms of species.



Did I write all that? Man. I have issues.

And all this time I thought I was a reserved environmentalist, when I’m really a cold, calculating madmen.

Meh. It’s all good.

blueeyes
10-13-2003, 08:28 PM
Xzengrim, that rumor is partly false. The myths it arise from derive from the tendancy for injuried werewolves to revert toward humanity. In some circumstances, limbs do remain wolf or werewolf.

Wraywolf, I strongly suggest you get another hobby. Or another focus.
I do not have a large group, so I can only say that werewolves are capable of mating and that most males can detach themselves enough from whatever instincts drive them. I hope that's is enough to answer you.
Don't forget that there are other werecreatures as well, when you bring up that subject. Lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my...

Wraywolf
10-13-2003, 09:05 PM
Hey, just jokeing around. We don't really intend to do any of this stuff.

Well, I don't. Don't know about Xzen.

Xzengrim
10-14-2003, 02:30 AM
Wray...
If you want to learn all about the mating habits of werewolves, buy Xzengrim's latest adult video! It's called "Big Bad Lovin' VI". Watch in transfixed semi-disgusted arousal as Grim deploys the bone for a host of lady werewolves, were-foxes, and maybe a sheep or two (just for shock effect). The expanded DVD also includes deleted scenes of Grim's funky werewolf self makin' sweet sweet love to an old sofa on his neighbor's porch! Order now, and Xzen will throw in -at no extra cost- his other video, "Weres Gone Wild". All of the crotch sniffing, tail pulling, face-licking soft-core action you could ever want to see! Plus kinky stuff with muzzles and a rolled-up newspaper! It's disgustariffic.

Youwillbuynow!!

DarkWolf
10-14-2003, 10:09 AM
You people need a hobby.

*disects vampires instead*

>.>

<.<

Wraywolf
10-14-2003, 01:30 PM
Wow, I think about half of my brain cells just committed suicide.

lordragoon
10-14-2003, 05:15 PM
Only half? I think my IQ just dropped a hundred points.
I see Flora's been having fun.
...
...
...
...Disgustariffic? :shrug:

Xzengrim
10-15-2003, 01:01 AM
Bwakkachickawakkachi cka- whakka ch gwuo gwo

Bwow ww chicka bwuaah bwah!

(Funky porno music)

*wags tail*

LV426
10-16-2003, 08:54 AM
I didn't order a pizza...

Wraywolf
10-16-2003, 01:20 PM
http://btc.bolloxcomics.co. uk/comics/0268.png

blueeyes
10-16-2003, 05:15 PM
Next we will be given a poem on canine physiology. Can we stay on subject. Or at least away from anatomy.
*realizes initial subject was about biology*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Xavious
10-17-2003, 09:22 PM
The Mad Scientist's Guide To Werewolves

Not only is Grim a scientist, he also happens to be German... and a little cruel when he lets himself. So I have decided to try being a Mad Scientist. And these are some experiments someone ought to do with werewolves. (P-shifting movie kind, not just therians)

1) I wish to paint the hair of a human-form werewolf with blacklight sensitive green dye. Then I will have them shift, and look at the result under a blacklight to determine what happens to follicle patterns when fur grows.
2) Freeze werewolves, to see how they react to the cold. What temp, at any particular one, do they have to shift to survive?
3) Test to see if shift can be triggered by electric shock, ultrasonic noise frequency, or different intensity/patterns of light.
4) Score the flesh with silver, and then with steel. How does the silver wound heal differently, if at all?
5) Document body temperature, heart rate, brainwave activity, blood pressure of werewolf during and after shift.
6) Expose werewolf to aconitum lycoctonum (wolfsbane), nuclear radiation, silver nitrate, iron, and moonstone (seperately, of course) to see if anything happens.
7) Bind the hands, feet, and head, and then initiate shift. WHat happens when limbs are left without room to change?
8) Amputate hand and also tail to see what happens when the limb is cut off from blood supply. Then try it again, this time immediately freezing the appendages in liquid nitrogen. This may make it possible to take samples.
9) Dissect werewolf hands, feet, jaw, stomach, brain for reasearch.
10) Vivisect face, hands, forearms (+ wrists), eyes, chest, and feet. Retain samples of skin, teeth, eyes, tongue, spine, upper pallate, sinuses, mastoid muscles for collection.

Those are the first ten experiments. They are very general, non Gender-specific lycanthropy 101 type experiments. I'm currently seeking business partners to help fund my laboratory and for Hunters who could sell me live werewolves as well as werewolf corpses. I also need some human subjects to use as control groups. Payment is negotiable. Business partners will be silent partners: they will never see my work or know the details of what goes on, but they stand to recieve a portion of the money generated by my work. I will make a profit by skinning the werewolves and selling the pelts on the black market. The flayed bodies will then be melted down in a heated, pressurized canister of acid. The sludge will be sifted, and the remains dumped at sea. That way we won't be caught. SPeaking of we, I also need a laboratory assistant. Preferably either a) hunchbacked, with a vaguely Slavic accent or, b) leggy, female, and completely heartless.
Here is a chance for aspiring Hunters to prove themselves! PS: I will pay extra for the following: a really fat werewolf, identical twins, fraternal twins, werewolves with genetic defects, a pregnant (female) werewolf, unuasually large or small werewolves, very young werewolves.
Due to the small size of this first laboratory, I will only be able to accept six wolves at a time. Four males, one female, and one from the list of extras posted above. I plan to import a Gothic castle, or maybe buy some kind of ranch, for my research when I have enough money. But for now, I'll use the basement.
ThanX.
(PS: This is some Dark-ass humor. Please don't be offended.)


Have you considered hiring a body gaurd? I'd be willing to. Would you like a resume?

shadowhound
03-16-2004, 08:19 PM
Don't forget, you'll need a wolf control group as well as a human one. For a ready supply werewolf subjects, I belive MoC has something about werewolves you can adopt. Just don't let them know what you REALLY want them for.

8eyegoon
03-16-2004, 08:33 PM
Wow, I think about half of my brain cells just committed suicide.

That is a great quote Wraywolf. I like it mwwaa much.