A few jokes

[Xavious]

This was one of my favorites when I was a kid. It should make you laugh cause even the meanest and hard hearted teacher laughed outloud. :D It's called the Indian Joke.

Their once was an Indian named Chief Bowels that lived on a reservation. A railroad was going to be built but his teepee was in the way. The person who wanted to build the railroad came to him to talk. The owner said to the chief "You need to move. I'm building a railroad and your teepee is in the way" but Chief Bowels said "Bowels no move". The owner said back to him "Well then you better go to town and get a lawyer". So Chief Bowels went to town to get one. In town the lawyers office was next to the doctors office. By mistake he went in to the doctors office. The doctor asked what was wrong. He told the doctor " Bowels no move". The doctor reached into a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of mineral oil and told him to drink a little each day. "Come back next week if he still had a problem" said the doctor. Next week he came back and told the doctor "Bowels still no move". The doctor looked at him, gave him another bottle, and said "Drink all of this bottle and come back tommorow if you still have a problem. The next day he came back and said to the doctor "Bowels got to go. Teepee full of sh*t"!

How was that? Here is an actual conversation that took place today at 2:30 PM during last period class.

Teacher: Why arn't you working?

Me: I need to be excused to go to a funeral.

Teacher: I'm sorry to hear that. Who died?

Me: My brain.

My teacher didn't think it was funny and I got in trouble for 'disrupting' the class. Really though as hard as we were working I probably saved everyone else for dying even though it was to late for me lol! :D

[MexicanJewLizard]

Okay then....

[Beserker Cub]

Level 3 laugh for the 3nd one!!

Didn't get the 1 st on..maybe cos i'm not..umm..english? oesn't matter, I didn't get it.

But I reeeely luvd the second one!! Good stuff! The sencd one I mean :droolbloo

[Xavious]

The first one I admit is hard to understand. That's why I put in the second one. I just want to make sure everyone gets a laugh. Why not put your own jokes here? :shrug:

[War Wolf]

Alright! This is a fair warning for all of you with a light resistency to puns. This may give you splitting headaches and cause spontanous decapitation.

Two guys are in a bar and one turns to the other and says to the other and says, "I have a dog that talks."

The other one says, "You do not, you liar!"

The first guy says, "I do too and I will bet you $20 bucks that I do!"

So they drive out to this guy's house and go in and they see the dog asleep in front of the fire muttering in his sleep, "I just won the Nobel Prize!" and, "I just won the Best Actor of the Year!"

The first guy says, "Okay, you win, but you know that your dog is lying!"

To that the other guy says, "I know, but I've found it's best to let sleeping dogs lie!"