Woo this was great!

[Lost Tranquility]

NEVER SAY TO A COP
>
> 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
>
> 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
>
>
>
> 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>
> 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
>
> 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>
> 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
>
> 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>
> 8. I pay your salary!
>
> 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
>
>
>
> 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
>
> 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
>
> cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

Haha and the grand one, omg this is great!!
>
> 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


Haha I hope you like!

[War Wolf]

Congratualations dude or dudett! That was a good one! And now, my turn!

A Babylonian general was declared a traitor for leading a revolt.
He escaped the night before he was to be executed and hid in an old
Babylonian ziggurat, or temple, where he expected to find some of his
associates. Not finding them, he began to burn the papers they had
left and was immediately recaptured.
Moral of the story--Warning! The searchin' general has determined
that smoking ziggurats may be hazardous to your stealth.

For those of you not unconsious from this pun, I tell you now, I'm starting a pun thread. Let the groaners fly!

[Lost Tranquility]

Lol Im a chicka!

Haha that was great lol..it took me a few mins to get it but once I did I was laughin haha! Find me some more ok? Later Gater!

~Mo

[Alphawolf]

Hehe, yeah... last year, a cop pulled my car over and asked why I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I told him I didn't know how to use one. He didn't find it funny and gave me a $150 ticket. :shrug:

[Lost Tranquility]

Hahaaha! Thats great. I forgot to tell you this one. This foreal happened like but not 2 weeks ago.

I was standing inside the BX shopping center on base and reading a Karate Mag. and this old couple was walking down the isle. Well the old skinny woman was holding a small white box of something, what it was I really have no clue, but she looked over to her husband and was like (picture this voice, old, shakey like, southern) "Oh Bill...these sorta things just don't turn me on anymore..." Lol, and the old scrawny guy with big glasses looked back up to her and was like. "WHAT?" ( haha he couldn't hear her. ) She replied back. "I said, These sorta things just don't turn me on anymore..." The old man looked at her and stopped walking and said " WHAT?" Omg let met tell you that old woman must have lost her patients b/c she stopped walking and stompped her foot down and tried to scream out in that funny old woman southern voice " DAMMIT I SAID THOS DAMN THINGS JUST DONT TURN ME ON ANY MORE!...HONESTLY BILL..."
rofl..and they kept walking like nothing ever happened. ROFL that was the most damn funniest thing I'd ever seen old people do...it was genius..too bad I didn't get it on videotape..it could have been like..so priceless to see that it would have made a profit. LOL but anyways..tell me what you think. :D

[Lilith]

Well friends, since we are talking about old people..

Last Easter I went to visit my grandparents and we went to Church that sunday. Well their church is like full of old people, I swear, no one under 60. It was packed and my grandma was all pissed because they stuck some big old lady next to us, blocking the exit.
She was all pissed cause we were going to have to wait for everyone to move so we could leave.
And so mass is over and were leaving and there's this lady in front of me w/ an oxygen tank. I was all tryin to help her get through the door and my grandma starts goin off on me. She's behind me pushing me and tellin me to move my ass because i was going to slow. I told her there were people infront of me and she got really mad and was like
"Well tell them to move!" And she starts shovin people outta her way.

I was like damn.

Moral of the story: not quite sure . I learned that old people may be small, but when they wanna move, they can move.

[Loups_Garou]

Famous Last Words
1: It's firproof I'm positive.
2: Don't worry these mushrooms aren't poisonous.
3: It's probably hibernating.
4: Yeah right, It couldn't possibly rain for forty day and forty nights.
5: Oh yeah?! Well I bet you hit like a girl!
6: I'm making a citizens arrest!
7: The odds of that happening are a million to one.
8: I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
9: I can jump it.
10: So you're a canibal, how interesting.
11: I wonder what anti-freeze tastes like.
12: Nice Doggy.

[Lost Tranquility]

Haha if you had sex 365 times in 12 months and you ended up melting the condoms into a tire what would you call it??



A fking GOODYEAR!!

(LMAO when i read this i like snaped bwahahahaha)

[Nightmare GenoReaper]

you know how to handle the policemen by now

when he goes up to you and gives u ur ticket, grab the ticket from his hand, then read it...

Then when ur done crumple it up and throw it to his feet, saying "Fuck you and your ticket too!"

They also like people who know their rights...this way they don't have to read them to you on the way downtown

[GoldShadowHunt]

True story(it happened to my aunt in college): Late night, cops pulls her over. Her comment? "I swear Budweiser, I only drank two ocifers."

Famous last words: I know what I'm doing....
Trust me
Yes, it's totally safe.
I saw this on T.V. once....

[Loups_Garou]

True Story, I was at this Wal-mart once with a friend and we were gettin candy 'n junk for a drive-in movie we were seein with some other friends, we got everything we wanted and went to pay, the cashier toatalled it up and it came to about $7 and I gave her a $10, she's starin at the register for about 2 min so I asked her why it was takin so long and she said "I can't find the 10 on this register."

[Quicksilver]

True story- After hearing a rumor that some kids had done this I decided that I had to try it for myself.
One afternoon I was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt by an officer, when he pulled me over, I leaned to my friend and assured him that this would work. I rolled down the window, and the officer asked for my information, after handing the id's to him he asked if I knew what I did.. i admitted to not wearing my belt.. when he asked if I had any excuse, I waved my hand and said "These are not the droids you are looking for." The officer cracked a smile and shook his head... he handed me my id's and said "'move along".. and as I left I exclaimed.."may the force be with you." and then my friend punched me! :banghead:

[Ash]

that, is THE BEST EVER, I salute you :D

[LycanSpectre]

That is awesome! I need to try that....

Remember: Its only illegal if you get caught.

[Lost Tranquility]

ROFL how'd you pull that? lol

[Quicksilver]

ROFL how'd you pull that? lol

Simple my young padawan, trust your instincts, and be mindfull of the living force.. lol..
:shrug: