Haloween Joke

[Eagle Kammback]

A man is walking home�alone late one foggy night...



when behind him he hears:





Bump...





BUMP...





BUMP...





Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog, he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.





BUMP...







BUMP...







BUMP...





Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him



FASTER...







FASTER...







BUMP...







BUMP...






BUMP...





He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.





However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping





clappity-BUMP...





clappity-BUMP..





clappity-BUMP...





on his heels, the terrified man runs.



Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.





With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.





Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything,

but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!





Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...







AND







The coffin stops











yes, I know this is a really bad joke, but maybe somebody will find it funny

[BlackRosePhantom]

Oh...

My...

Goodness...

WTF!!! You are going to bad pun/joke hell for that one, my acquaintance. (seriously, I'd only give that a 2 for the joke alone, and a -1.5 for the pun, so your total is a -0.5, congrats)

[WareW-Believer]

(seriously, I'd only give that a 2 for the joke alone, and a -1.5 for the pun, so your total is a -0.5, congrats)

If I may point out:

2-1.5 is 0.5 not -0.5

That is all.

[Hitodama]

WTF!!! You are going to bad pun/joke hell for that one, my acquaintance. (seriously, I'd only give that a 2 for the joke alone, and a -1.5 for the pun, so your total is a -0.5, congrats)
Lighten up, your attitude is ruining the humor section.

Nice joke, Eagle. Made me smile.

[Eagle Kammback]

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must tell you, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party"

[NeonLightChild]

Those were great! Punnish of course for the first one but hey, it's still a good joke!

As for that second one...is your ticket first-class too? ;) I might need company for when my train leaves...

[BlackRosePhantom]

Now that was a good joke. It actually made me laugh. :)