WareW-Believer
01-27-2008, 08:36 PM
This is a list of rules necessary to making it look like you're doing something when actually you're doing nothing whatsoever. Feel free to add on, this is just a basis for them that me and a friend put together. Try your best to keep numbers in order, I know we can all count....or maybe I'm just optimistic.
1. Have a large assortment of items spread out in front of you on a table. Rearrange said items every 10 minutes or so, just to make it look like you're doing something different. When someone walks by, start fidgeting with the items
2. Stare intently at a complex technical diagram for an extended period of time. It doesn't have to be an actual diagram, you could just make an overly complex diagram of nothing, but that also runs the risk of someone asking what it is you are looking at. If said question arises, simply wave the person away or stare at them angrily and say "Really?" extremely sarcastically
2a. If you have any skills for sleeping with your eyes open, this is the time to practice
3. Wander aimlessly around the room, making sure to pick up random items on every trip to create the illusion of a purpose
3a. This is also an opportunity to periodically stare over someone's shoulder as you pass by them, occasionally uttering comments or disapproving noises to make them question the validity of what they're working on.
4. At set intervals, drop random items from you're worktable and either pick them up yourself or point to the nearest person looking at you, then down at the item, while saying, "A little help would be appreciated". If they tell you to get it yourself, simply point at the rest of your randomly assembled items and say you're too busy right now
4a. It also helps if theses items make good noises, like aluminum stock or tools, or simply something that is incredibly loud and obnoxious
5. At the beginning of the workday, pick a coworker. For the rest of the day, relentlessly annoy this coworker, but make it look like you're giving them valuable advice, criticizing them for a mistake they may or may not have actually made, or observing that they are doing something wrong while not actually telling them what it is you are referring to. It also helps if these "observations" are made from across the room, or simply in a loud enough tone of voice that everyone will turn their heads for at least a second to see what's going on.
6. When someone comes within earshot of you, mutter to yourself while examining a certain item. Make sure it's only loud enough for them to hear you, but quiet enough so that they can't make out what your saying. Actually saying, "mutter" works pretty well.
1. Have a large assortment of items spread out in front of you on a table. Rearrange said items every 10 minutes or so, just to make it look like you're doing something different. When someone walks by, start fidgeting with the items
2. Stare intently at a complex technical diagram for an extended period of time. It doesn't have to be an actual diagram, you could just make an overly complex diagram of nothing, but that also runs the risk of someone asking what it is you are looking at. If said question arises, simply wave the person away or stare at them angrily and say "Really?" extremely sarcastically
2a. If you have any skills for sleeping with your eyes open, this is the time to practice
3. Wander aimlessly around the room, making sure to pick up random items on every trip to create the illusion of a purpose
3a. This is also an opportunity to periodically stare over someone's shoulder as you pass by them, occasionally uttering comments or disapproving noises to make them question the validity of what they're working on.
4. At set intervals, drop random items from you're worktable and either pick them up yourself or point to the nearest person looking at you, then down at the item, while saying, "A little help would be appreciated". If they tell you to get it yourself, simply point at the rest of your randomly assembled items and say you're too busy right now
4a. It also helps if theses items make good noises, like aluminum stock or tools, or simply something that is incredibly loud and obnoxious
5. At the beginning of the workday, pick a coworker. For the rest of the day, relentlessly annoy this coworker, but make it look like you're giving them valuable advice, criticizing them for a mistake they may or may not have actually made, or observing that they are doing something wrong while not actually telling them what it is you are referring to. It also helps if these "observations" are made from across the room, or simply in a loud enough tone of voice that everyone will turn their heads for at least a second to see what's going on.
6. When someone comes within earshot of you, mutter to yourself while examining a certain item. Make sure it's only loud enough for them to hear you, but quiet enough so that they can't make out what your saying. Actually saying, "mutter" works pretty well.