Larry the Cable Guy

[Xavious]

Anyone here ever heard of Larry the Cable Guy? He has some pretty funny analogies. Here's a few:

Mad as deaf-mute playin' bingo, gettin' bingo, and tryin' to yell out bingo.

More ridiculous as a one legged man in a brewery makein' hops.

I'm so mad I could eat gunpowder, two bullet casings, and a chili pepper, spread my butt cheeks, fart, and drop a deer from a hundred yards.

Funnier than a retard ordering biggie fries.

[Mud Mutt]

I have seen Lary the Cable Guy as part of that special on Comedy Central. "the Blue Collar Comedy Tour" he was funny.

[Defender]

My dad introduced me to LTCG a while back and I think it's hilarious.

[Xavious]

Check out his website (http://www.larrythecableguy .com/) . Here's what he had to say about Thanksgiving.

Well it’s almost time for Thanksgiving. My Grandpa was drunk on Falstaff one night in ‘71 and after he slapped Grandma around for grilling him about finding rubbers in his tackle box he sat us kids down and told us the story of Thanksgiving. Apparently according to Grandpa, the Lord Jesus and some of his pilgrim buddies come to America on three ships. The Mayflower, the Pinta, and the Edmond Fitzgerald. They landed in America and met a bunch of Indians and they all ate corn and played touch football. The Lord got sandwiched on a square out pattern and was knocked unconscious. He woke up an hour later and seen his shadow and the Indians knew they were in for a long winter. The Pilgrims gave thanks for their new land and made a sign and hung it on Plymouth Rock, it said simply, "No Queers". After that they all ate turkey and told Pollock jokes. After my Grandpa told us this story he stumbled out to the truck and was killed when he drove into a big rig. Now the moral of this story is this, I have no idea I just thought I’d share some of the hell I lived through as a kid. Tomorrow I’ll share the story my Grandpa told about my Grandma giving birth to my dad on the couch and getting sprayed by a skunk after carrying the afterbirth out to the trash can. Happy Thanksgiving!

Go to his website. I'm sure anyone will find something funny there.