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LV426
01-12-2004, 10:05 PM
Group Points Out Wacky Warning Labels
Mon Jan 12, 8:12 AM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!



NOVI, Mich. - It is a warning label that may seem perfectly logical — to fish: A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks advises that it is "Harmful if swallowed."



If only carp could read.


The label took fourth place in the seventh annual Wacky Warning Label Contest. But organizers of the contest, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, say it highlights the lengths to which manufacturers will go in order to avoid lawsuits stemming from misuse of consumer products.


"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit group working to raise public awareness of how the explosion in litigation is harming the country.


"It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."


Taking first prize last week was a warning found on a bottle of drain cleaner. The label reads: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."


The $250 second prize went to a Virginia man who sent in a label on a snow sled that advises users: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."




Previous Awards

A label on a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan warning "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking" has been identified as one of the nation's wackiest warning labels by a Michigan watchdog group.

A label on a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. That label warns: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

Label on a jet ski. That label says: "Warning! Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft."

A label on an electric wood router made for carpenters which cautions: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to “Remove child before folding”

A prescription of sleeping pills says, “Warning: May cause drowsiness

A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof.²"

A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

A CD player carries this unusual warning: “Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult.”

An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”

A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”

A container of underarm deodorant says, “Caution: Do not spray in eyes”

A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”

A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”

A label with a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”

A Bathroom Heater says: “This product is not to be used in bathrooms”

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”

A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”

A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”

A label on a manufactured fireplace log which warns, "Caution -- Risk of Fire"

A label on a 35mm camera which warns: "When operating the selector dial with your eye to the viewfinder, care should be taken not to put your finger in your eye accidentally."


Amazing how stupid people have become. Prime examples why the herds need to be culled.

Okamiotoko
01-12-2004, 10:20 PM
WOW! "A prescription of sleeping pills says, “Warning: May cause drowsiness"
LOL

Ronin_WolfsBlood
01-12-2004, 11:59 PM
If such warning labels are needed what has the world come too!!!! and they say I'm stupid at least I don't need warning lables like that!!!:D :D :D really good :beerchug:

Sorrowsong
01-13-2004, 08:36 AM
I suddenly feel much smarter. :D :D :D

LycanSpectre
01-13-2004, 10:29 AM
There was a label on a Korean made kitchen knife I saw that said "Do not use on children." :D

The KuroOkami
01-13-2004, 12:18 PM
dingbats made warning labels

Ben
01-14-2004, 05:44 AM
I'm all for removing the warning lables. It'll remove some of these morons from the gene pool.

If I was a judge, I'd throw any of these idiots out of court too.

Sorrowsong
01-14-2004, 05:50 AM
I'm all for removing the warning lables. It'll remove some of these morons from the gene pool.

If I was a judge, I'd throw any of these idiots out of court too.


If I were a judge, I'd probably do the same. But I'm afraid booting these morons out of the courts is going to be harder than it looks. Too many people obsess over money, so they'll take the cases just to get some easy money. That's just a guess, though.

Did you know some fatass tried to sue McDonald's for "making him overweight"? Can you believe somebody actually TOOK THE CASE?! Eeesh... Never underestimate the power of stupidity.

Wanderer
01-14-2004, 05:52 AM
i need a warning label that says: Warning I may bite. Wow I should get a shirt that says that... it has a lil warning thing on it saying i may bite.. which is stupid cause i will lol j/k

This is quite funny, I agree. Humans are stupid.

Were-E-Wolf
01-14-2004, 12:49 PM
Got this warning label off of Jay Leno, it was off a vamcum cleaner... "Do not insert penis." Aye. what has the world come to if men need to stick things into vacum cleaner hoses for pleasure.

werewolfs_bite
01-14-2004, 02:09 PM
found on a Batman cape - "Warning, cape does not inable user to fly." im so for a warnig label removel group to get rid of stupid people.

Qyv
01-15-2004, 07:46 PM
found on bags of sainsburys peanuts "warning, this products contains nuts" well i never, does it really

dejavugirl
01-15-2004, 08:55 PM
On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop moving chain with hands or other body parts.
Really?!?! :eek:

Fire Fangdango
01-15-2004, 08:58 PM
found on a Batman cape - "Warning, cape does not inable user to fly." im so for a warnig label removel group to get rid of stupid people.



Whoa!!! FANDANGO....FANDANGO ....WATCH THAT 'GM' MANGO!!

ist cuases covah htiw ur spellink!!!!

RQ
01-18-2004, 08:17 PM
I wish I could take credit for this, but it's on www.bash.org (http://www.bash.org) - check it out. It's all just questionably tasteful fun.

"<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself"

purinpuff
01-18-2004, 09:38 PM
Some of those are hilarious! I love the massage chair one.

Well, the McDonald's case is rediculous, but... I'll bet there are people who would take any chance available to try and do something bad to McDonald's.

Peanuts technically aren't nuts. They're beans.

Wereferal
01-18-2004, 11:36 PM
Just another case of human insanity. :rolleyes:

GhostBat
01-19-2004, 12:04 PM
A generic contact cleaner solution bottled stated: "Avoid eye contact. If contact occurs, wash out with water and call a poison control specialist immediately."

So...you clean your contacts, and while they're soaked in an apparently harmful solution, you stick em in your eye...

Darth Cluich
01-19-2004, 02:23 PM
On a tube of Preparation H: "Do not take orally."

Moron: "I ate this whole tube, and I've still got hemorrhoids! But, hey, I can whistle real good now."

LycanSpectre
01-19-2004, 02:26 PM
Cans of pet food bear the inscripton: Not fit for human consumption.

purinpuff
01-21-2004, 12:10 PM
Sheesh, why feed your pet something not fit for human consumption?

(well, I do realize there are exceptions to what I said)

Darth Cluich
01-21-2004, 01:18 PM
The ultimate parody on stupid warning labels, courtesy of Saturday Night Live...

Kids:
It's Happy!
It's Fun!
It's Happy Fun Ball!

Announcer:
Yes, it's Happy Fun Ball,
the toy sensation
that's sweeping the nation.
Only $14.95 at participating stores!

Get one Today

Background V/O:
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.

Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

* Itching

* Vertigo

* Dizziness

* Tingling in extremities

* Loss of balance or coordination

* Slurred speech

* Temporary blindness

* Profuse Sweating

or

* Heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Announcer:
Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!

GhostBat
01-24-2004, 10:01 PM
Container of anti-itch cream states:
"Do not put directly in rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device."

:eek: