Marriage?

[MorganaFang]

Thoughts?

Well I suppose I should give my own opinion for this really if I expect other people to answer.

Currently with the present situations in society, Marriage is just plain weird? Can we ever really be happy with any one person in our life? I only ask because of the trend in divorces and all that junk.

[DoubleStar3]

I believe people can be fine in just one marriage. I mean my parents have been together 29 years this year.

And I for one have waited 11 years for one guy, who is leaving next week for the military, and will continue to wait now that I finally have him. We met back up after 4 years of not knowing where each other were, and now have decided that some divine intervention has made it that we're meant to be. (there's a much longer story that goes with that... but u have the revised version.
And marriage isn't everything. It's basically so taxes can be filed together, and a change of name. Yeah yeah, there's that romantic part, and most women have their ideal wedding planned out by the age of 13, but what is it really? Do you really need to be married to be happy with each other? I doubt it. It's just what society wants us to do to fund the flower company, caterers, stationary freaks, reception places, and churches. Would I eventually like to be married? Sure. Do I need it to be happy with someone else? No.

[kaycee]

I don't believe in the 'Till death do we part' crap. Circumstances will happen/people will change and events will damage a relationship. Not always, but it does happen.

The vows should be 'Till we are no longer in love with eachother'.

[J.L.R.]

As for myself and my beliefs, if the marriage is founded by love first, then it is good. My Grandparents have been married for over 47 years, and they will be celebrating that anniversary in India this year!!

Marriage is a pact that you give to someone that you will be theirs until death. Ergo the line, "until death us do part." It is a religious and sacred act, for you are binding yourself as one with that other person. 60 years ago marriages lasted a lot longer, and they have their reasons.

Waaaaay back then, sex out of marriage, while it still occured, it wasn't as frequent as it is today, or I should say as public. My Grandfather was once a marriage councilor, and 9 out of 10 couples who fus and fight and can't get along, had sex before they got married. They get to that critical 8th year, and all of that romance is gone. They married because of the sex/pleasure first, and left the love part second.

A larger portion of those HAD to get married because the female of the couple got pregnant, since obviously the male can't... (I know blonde moment, please overlook my blondeness). Both parties feel robbed by the other. If he is anywhere near the man, he marries her, but ultimately such marriages end in ruin, because they both were not ready for the responsibility of it all.

I think people should stick with one mate, and deal with it. Make sure they get the right one in the first place (AND not off the internet please :) ) and face whatever problems lie ahead. It is like this old guy once told me, "When I first got married, we had problems, like everybody else, but we dealt with those problems, and saw things through. Today's kids hit a bump or two, and they fall apart."

The problem I see with just living with someone, is the fact that the couple has no binding agreement or pact between each other. As my Grandfather once stated (as well as a recent 9 News program) "the girl gets all attached to the guy, while the guy feels like he is just getting a good time." Should he think different? Honestly, what guy would not have a hayday, if he could get all the sex, with out the responsibility? Unfortunately that leaves the poor girl out in the cold.
I have a good friend who is going through this right now. She loves this doof really really much, and they have already had sex, big deal... However to her it is a big deal, but not to him. She loves him, and he doesn't share the same emotion for her. She want's to get married, but he doesn't. It is an awful mess, and he treats her rotten.

Now don't get me wrong, there are couples who get together and plan to get married, and just have decided to go ahead a be joined, with out the vows. My cousin did just that, and they later got married. He has only slept with her, and she with him. They are happy, as far as I can tell, and now they have a son, but honestly I haven't seen many of those.

[Hellcat]

.

The vows should be 'Till we are no longer in love with eachother'. I'll drink to that :beerchug:


I'm a statistic :buttrock: and I reckon marriage ain't all its cracked up to be. If you are meant to stay with someone, you'll do it whether your married or not. If your not meant to stay with that person and you do get married, you'll end up as a statistic. In hindsight marriage is for religious people. At least thats my opinion

[GoddessWolf]

I can't for the life of me understand why it is such a difficult thing for people these days to find someone and stick with them. You would think you would really take enough time to know the person before you get married to them, but a lot of people don't.

Marriage should be mutual and special. It doesnt have to be some big fancy ceremony that costs thoudsands of dollars. It's the meaning behind it thats so important. If you truly know, respect, and can picture yourself getting old with the same person, then marriage is right. But if you cant see yourself down the road with that same person, then ask yourself if marriage is the right thing to do.

So many couples get married, have children, and then divorce. Its a lot harder on the children in the long run. They are the ones who have to face the facts that their parents couldn't love eachother, and didn't love eachother enough to stay together.

I think it's possible for a couple to make it, but marriage takes work. You can't expect it to be perfect in a day, or even a month. It takes time to form love, trust, and understanding.

But thats just my opinion. :shrug:

[Wolffy13]

marriage takes work

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

GoddessWolf, I think you hit the nail on the head. People these days always get married and seem to have the philosophy of "if it doesn't work, we can always divorce". Not saying that's the case with everyone, but a good majority, I'm sure. Right before we married, my husband had been kind of acting immature. Basically, I was worried that he wasn't serious about the concept of marriage. I remember telling him that this was important to me that we marry and raise children within the bounds of marriage and if he wasn't serious then he needed to tell me, because I am only doing the marriage thing once and divorce is not an option. He obviously agreed if he's my husband now :)

OK, sure, you can file taxes together, and you get to change your last name (which while it was an honor for me to go from one Scottish surname to another, was a pain in the ass), but if my husband was in the hospital, would they take me real seriously if we weren't married? Just an example (and perhaps not the best). Also, I think it would mean a lot to our children to know that we were married, loved each other a lot, had our problems but worked through them rather than call it quits. It meant a lot, and still does to me, to know my parents were like that.

[lachrymal]

problem is, nowdays marriage is just a piece of paper that gives you certain legal benefits. people who get married often do so for the wrong reasons, and why wouldn't they? i mean the option of divorce is always there, so as soon as the honeymoon phase ends they can split and oftentimes come out better financially than they were when they originally got married. in the past when divorce wasn't so common place or easy to come by people were pretty much forced to resolve their problems and stay together; now it's just all to easy to flee from the relationship. prenuptial(sp?) agreements are becoming extremelly popular now. why should you even need one of those? if the marriage is just going to end in divorce in a few years, why even bother getting married in the first place? problem is, people have no commitment and think that love is all a relationship is. truth is, love is the starting point for a relationship but it's commitment and tolerance for each other quirks that keep two people together. personally, i think marriage can work, but it requires a much higher degree of maturity than most people who get married possess. in short, if you tell yourself "well, we can always get a divorce" you shouldn't get married....you're not ready for that kinda commitment.

end of rant.

[Darth Cluich]

problem is, nowdays marriage is just a piece of paper that gives you certain legal benefits.

That's all marriage was ever intended to be. As far back as the ancient Mesopotamian civilizations and even up through the laws of the Emperor Justinian, the purpose of marriage was to bind a couple together for the purposes of distributing property -- i.e., determining inheritance. The notion of love being a precondition for marriage probably began sometime in the early Middle Ages and even then, in a time of arranged marriages, was not the primary reason for entering into such a union. Property (land, livestock, etc.) was.

[Xzengrim]

I think that the breakdown of marriage in America is directly related to the dissolution of gender roles in Western society. People expect a lot more from their lives and from marriage nowadays, and I just don't think it's all going to happen. It used to be accepted that marriage was synonymous with mediocrity... that two people would settle down and everything would be very normal and that would be most of their lives. Men would work, women would keep the house and watch the kids. That was marriage.
Nowadays, both partners in the marriage want to have carreers and be successful and make big money. This cuts into the time and patience that they have for each other, and takes away from attention they would have paid to children. Women don't want to watch the house or the kids... in fact, nobody seems to want to take care of the domicile, which is the home-base of the marriage. Cultural norms no longer see monogamy as a benefit, and dump on married life for being boring. Nobody wants to put anything into marriage. Everyone wants to do their own thing. Divorce is so easy.

Now... I may be a lefty radical in many respects, but when it comes to marriage, Grim is suddenly very archaic. If I was to get married, that would be my woman, and she would watch the house and cook for me and watch the pups (assuming we had any). I like the idea of having a traditional home life. I hope that concept doesn't die out completely before I getz married.

[Darth Cluich]

Now... I may be a lefty radical in many respects, but when it comes to marriage, Grim is suddenly very archaic. If I was to get married, that would be my woman, and she would watch the house and cook for me and watch the pups (assuming we had any). I like the idea of having a traditional home life. I hope that concept doesn't die out completely before I getz married.

"Do you, Donna Reed, take Grim to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

[MorganaFang]

Men would work, women would keep the house and watch the kids. That was marriage.
Nowadays, both partners in the marriage want to have carreers and be successful and make big money. This cuts into the time and patience that they have for each other, and takes away from attention they would have paid to children. Women don't want to watch the house or the kids... in fact, nobody seems to want to take care of the domicile, which is the home-base of the marriage. Cultural norms no longer see monogamy as a benefit, and dump on married life for being boring. Nobody wants to put anything into marriage. Everyone wants to do their own thing. Divorce is so easy.

You know the whole kids thing never really pops into my head mainly because.... Dun De Dun... You don't have to be married to have children. I know tons of kids "living in sin" and have kids together. Really marriage is all the paperwork and what not. I think personally for me I think more of marriage of two people. Sure, I'd love to get married if I knew what it really is and if there was a guy I didn't lose attraction for after sleeping with him. But Frankly, nope not going to happen right now.



she would watch the house and cook for me and watch the pups (assuming we had any). I like the idea of having a traditional home life. I hope that concept doesn't die out completely before I getz married.


Ahem, Only she would be "watching the house and cooking and taking care of pups." Would she also be not allowed to vote and go outside?
Yeargh...

[Hellcat]

From my point of view (as a divorcee) when I got married my expectations were that I would be my husbands ONLY mate, I was under the (strange) illusion that raising children was a joint affair (after all we made them together). Okay granted, our eldest child was born outside wedlock, and he was one of our reasons for chosing to get married, in addition to the fact that I loved my partner and I thought he felt the same for me, the fact that we had been living together for 2 years (and courting for around 12 months prior to that) things looked pretty good. So when he asked me to marry him I thought I was saying yes for all the right reasons, yeah he wasn't a perfect guy, but what guy is? He had is problems, but infedility at that time wasn't one of them. I was under the (false) belief that we would always be there for each other until death did we part, but I was let down. I fell pregnant with our second child 3 months after getting married. (and no we didn't have a honeymoon, we couldn't afford one) As predicted (the same had happened during my first pregancy) my sex drive deteriorated 6 months into the pregnancy. I never denied my husband sex, but if truth be told my heart wasn't in it, and my body didn't feel up to it- I felt fat and ugly and very uncomfortable. As with my first pregnancy my self confidence deteriorated as the size of my stomach increased in size. So what did my husband do? He jumped into bed with the next woman who took an interest in him. My husband let me down badly. The fact that he was unfaithful to me was bad enough, but the fact that he did it when I needed him the most almost killed me, not to mention the unborn child inside me. The emotional stress I went through on top of the natural up and down of hormones that comes with pregnancy drove me to dispare- My lack of self confidence liturely vanished, if my own husband didn't love me what was my worth? My doctor informed me that if the stress continued my unborn child would be at risk, and may be born prematurely. Luckily she was born only 2 weeks premature and weighed a teansy 5 pound 14 ounces- she looked like a doll. If someone let you down as badly as my husband let me down would you want to spend the rest of your life with that person?

[MorganaFang]

If someone let you down as badly as my husband let me down would you want to spend the rest of your life with that person?

I'm more worried about me being the one doing the letting down, in my experience cheaters create more cheaters, its awful and my conscious nags but sometimes lust is stronger.

[Wolffy13]

Don't worry Xzengrim, they're out there. I know plenty of women, myself included, who want to saty at home with the kids/cubs and raise them according to what they and their spouse believe. I know I don't want my children to be raised by a school district. It would be mine and my hubbie's kids and mine and my hubbie's responsibility. Besides, women can work out of home. I do.

[kaycee]

I can't for the life of me understand why it is such a difficult thing for people these days to find someone and stick with them. You would think you would really take enough time to know the person before you get married to them, but a lot of people don't.

Marriage should be mutual and special. It doesnt have to be some big fancy ceremony that costs thoudsands of dollars. It's the meaning behind it thats so important. If you truly know, respect, and can picture yourself getting old with the same person, then marriage is right. But if you cant see yourself down the road with that same person, then ask yourself if marriage is the right thing to do.

So many couples get married, have children, and then divorce. Its a lot harder on the children in the long run. They are the ones who have to face the facts that their parents couldn't love eachother, and didn't love eachother enough to stay together.

I think it's possible for a couple to make it, but marriage takes work. You can't expect it to be perfect in a day, or even a month. It takes time to form love, trust, and understanding.

But thats just my opinion. :shrug:

Way too easy to say. Are you married? If so, how long?

As far as taking time to get to know someone before you marry them, my husband and I lived together for 14 years before we married. Trust me, we knew each other. Getting to know someone to begin with does not matter at all. Like I said previously, events happen that change people and make people fall out of love. It's human nature.

Good for those who stay together forever and you're right, marriage takes work. But it has to be both partners making the effort. If it's just one, you're doomed to live an unhappy life. I personally think divorce is a good thing. If you're not in love and no longer happy, get the hell out and live. Life is what you make it.

As far as children being hurt. This is true, but, one happy parent is way better for them than two unhappy parents. Think about it.

[J.L.R.]

Don't worry Xzengrim, they're out there. I know plenty of women, myself included, who want to saty at home with the kids/cubs and raise them according to what they and their spouse believe. I know I don't want my children to be raised by a school district. It would be mine and my hubbie's kids and mine and my hubbie's responsibility. Besides, women can work out of home. I do.

I agree with both of you. My Grandmother has never had to work outside the home, and she is quite spoiled. :) My Grandfather treats her like a queen, and gives her the deepest honor. I don't think a lot of women would have a problem living like that, if their husbands did what they were suppose to and treated them with respect, but I have to say, most men that I know, do not. It is so sad.

That is so crappy for a guy to call his "My Old Lady." Or use other not so nice terms for his wife! I mean it is his WIFE we are talking about. No wonder women don't wanna be in the house anymore, with men like that. Or what about those women that call their husbands loosers or stupid, like they do on tv shows. That is sickening. NO respect for each other.

Oh well, I know somewhere out there, there is a girl for me, and I am going to wait patiently to find her lucky (er er eh hem cough) self. (Actually it will be me who is lucky, lucky enough to find somebody to put up with me! :D )

[DarkWolf]

Are you married? If so, how long?

GoddessWolf isn't married, or at least I hope not. She's my girlfriend.

Getting to know someone to begin with does not matter at all

Oh yes it does. What if the person you marry turns out to be a cheater and such, yeah you could get a divorce: but remember, a marriage means you share everything and a divorce always means you have to give up something the other wants: all your possessions generally get split. Legal entitlement to half of what you own, remember? What if your personalities just don't get along, and you file a divorce: the other person could just say they are entitled to more of your stuff because you are the one quitting and they haven't done anything wrong. Technically: this is true, and the fact you married before getting to really know them won't factor in: I know I've seen this happen.

Getting a divorce is not always easy: If the spouse hasn't done anything wrong and wish to stay married: then they can keep that, even if you don't want to. You must have a good reason for a divorce other than "I don't like him anymore" - because it is not a reason for divorce or the spouse could agree to divorce but will take a lot of your stuff with it: because you are the one seen as being in the wrong. If the spouse doesn't want a divorce and hasn't done anything wrong: they could legally keep you in marriage for several years, just to spite.

Marriage is not just a declaration of love or a religious thing: it is also a legal contract binding you to that person and giving up half of everything you own to that person in effect. So yeah, it's better to know and love the person before marrying.

[kaycee]

First of all, no one said divorce was easy.

If the spouse doesn't want a divorce and hasn't done anything wrong: they could legally keep you in marriage for several years, just to spite.

Spite..that right there is wrong.


Like I said, I knew my hubby 14 years before marrying him. Later on, things changed..we changed. It happens. Trust me. Therefore, it doesn't matter if you know the person well before you marry.

[dejavugirl]

The only reason there is a high rate of divorce in this country is because people are lazy or selfish or impulsive.
Marriage is work.
When problems arise you have to find solutions, not run away from them. Too many people prefer to take the easy way out (divorce) when the road ahead becomes tough. It's a sad little peek at the way modern man operates. Oh no! It's not easy! Run away!
It is give and take. You cannot be selfish in a mariage...it is a union of 2 people and both parties need to make the decisions. Key word : Compromise! It's not BurgerKing - you cannot always have it your way!
And btw, if you get married after only knowing someone less than a year you are heading to divorce court(with rare exceptions). You can't jump into a life-long commitment without knowing the other person well. Vegas weddings only work out in the movies.
Certainly there are reasons for divorce, and it is a legitamate last resort. My husband is a serial killer? Divorce.
But I think more people need to think first. And put forth effort, most things can be worked out if both people try.
My hubby and I have had some rough times, life isn't life without them. But I will do everything in my power to make our marriage work, as I have since the beginning. As has he. Work.

[Hellcat]

Some contributors to this thread have mentioned that you should know your partner before you marry them- How long does it take for one to really know a person?

[DarkWolf]

Some contributors to this thread have mentioned that you should know your partner before you marry them- How long does it take for one to really know a person?
That greatly depends on your ability to ascertain character and the partner's ability to share their character. IE: Too many factors for there to be any clear answer.

[MexicanJewLizard]

Some contributors to this thread have mentioned that you should know your partner before you marry them- How long does it take for one to really know a person?

I think it depends on the couple. I've been with someone for over 8 months, and I can't help but think I really don't know the person.

[MexicanJewLizard]

Blah, you beat me to it. ;)

[DarkWolf]

Blah, you beat me to it. ;)
:D

[MorganaFang]

And then theres the times it depends on enviroment, such as a case with a friend of mine who was going to get married to a guy I had dated. Of course it really wasn't my fault they didn't get married in the first place, actually it was the other girlfriend he had on the side.

[MexicanJewLizard]

And then theirs the times it depends on enviroment, such as a case with a friend of mine who was going to get married to a guy I had dated. Of course it really wasn't my fault they didn't get married in the first place, actually it was the other girlfriend he had on the side.

Ssssssssssouch. I agree.

[Béni_Etre]

I see marriage as an ending personally. I mean its nice and all but whats the real point. I mean if you love eachother then whats the point to get married...and if you dont then whats the point. I see it as an ending because well alot of things in life end and well its just like whats there left to do...yea maybe have abunch of monsterous kids but i dont know its just me perhaps. :)

[MexicanJewLizard]

I see marriage as an ending personally. I mean its nice and all but whats the real point. I mean if you love eachother then whats the point to get married...and if you dont then whats the point. I see it as an ending because well alot of things in life end and well its just like whats there left to do...yea maybe have abunch of monsterous kids but i dont know its just me perhaps. :)

This is where the phrase "tieing the knot" comes in... (did I spell tieing right?...) A lot of couples feel that getting married is a way of letting eachother know that they don't want to be with anyone else, somewhat a sacred "ritual".

As for the ass holes who go out and cheat on their husbands/wives, they're just too immature and juvenile.

I'd love to get married, at some point in my life. I really think though, it takes more than love to hold something together...

[LV426]

You can put a ring on my finger of diamonds and gold, and stand before god and profess all kinds of love. But what does that mean? Is it from the heart? Does marriage mean that two people will never part? I'd rather have someone who shares what I like, brings me comic books and movies rather than flowers and chocolate. Who will see that a minister does not a marriage make. Do I have to don a white dress to make someone see I care? Couldn't my vows be spoken every day instead of once in front of a crowd?

I'd rather have someone to share my life with, someone who likes the things that I do. Someone who shares the passions, the pleasures, and the dangers of life and love with me.

I don't need a license and a wedding ring to know that someone loves me, nor do I need those things to show someone that I love them.

[Shandrel]

My mate and I, Scorched_wolf will be getting married twice LOL once in front of a jp.... ( for legal reasons, insurance all that) then we are having a hand fasting wirte for our family and friends :D that will take place Nov. 9th of this year.
We don't HAVE to get married, both of us want to. and that is a very special thing as well :D

[Béni_Etre]

Chica, I think it takes more then marriage to hold something together. I mean personally I think marriage is more for the girls. Who gets the expensive ring? Who gets the expensive dress?...the girls. While the guys go out with there rent-a-tucks.

What can you do with a knot once its tied? Take it apart and do it again? Or set it to the side and leave it there?

[Shandrel]

actualy it's my 5th engagement, and we have been together in RL for 15 months.so unlike my childish illusions i do beleive this one is different. thank you for pointing out a rathe rpainful fact for me.
The cerimony is as much for my mae as for me. He is the one pulling most of the strings on where, when, who comes and suchlike.

[MorganaFang]

actualy it's my 5th engagement, and we have been together in RL for 15 months.so unlike my childish illusions i do beleive this one is different. thank you for pointing out a rathe rpainful fact for me.
The cerimony is as much for my mae as for me. He is the one pulling most of the strings on where, when, who comes and suchlike.

Could have brought up the cancer, the pregancies, and the supposed homosexuality. Look, you have a habit of jumping into things, especially online and really you are using my thread to advertise another one of your "on a whim moves". Yeah 15 months is really knowing someone to be married. The first guy who proposed to me I knew originally offline for over a year and I still didn't feel right about it (we're just friends and always have been it is really bizarre situation why he proposed in te first place). I thought Scorched would have had more smarts than this especially with how many of his relationships have panned out.

Now shrendal, unless you have something useful, maybe like how you think you've come to this ( very common) decision in your life and what it has to do with the philosophy of being married, I wouldn't bother posting elsewise.

Trust me if you think this is mean I could have done a lot worse, Shrendal, unfortunately I still consider scorched a friend and care for him too much to put anymore.

[kat]

**reckless teenager-sense tingling!**

[Shandrel]

oaky as for cancer
i was told BY A DOCTOR to get tests done because i might have had it... as i posted. i do not have it thank god
pregancies... yep i'm a little umm overactive in that part i will admitt( i am working on that to better myself )
Never said i was a lesbian, i said i am bisexual, why not ask around instead of deciding i am full of crap have been so since i was 13. why not talk to my bf? i'll even give you her msn. she'll enlighten you a tiny bit
i started coming here when i was 13, very immature and begging for attention.
i am 19 now not a huge imporvement but i am no longer acting like a spoiled child
I have posted here before not on YOUR thread aboutthe wedding. WHICH by the way was HIS idea i guess in 15 months or more no one can change their attittudes? because i know i did.
and we have known each other for three years ONLINE and 15 months in REAL LIFE. sure a long time to hold on to a WHIM, hmm most of mine lasted what a month at hte most...15 months wow new world record i guess.
I understand ythat most couples aren't comfertable with teh marriage thing after one year i figure it's better for each couple to move at their own pace.
what i knwo about our relationship was that it took me, ( and yes i can say this) a rather loose young woman and changed hr into a faithful and caring person. alot of my earlier relatioships were based in my lowselfesteem(womebo dy PLEASE LOVE ME) that's over with now.i have no deisre to be with anoyone else, that's what love can do.
Okay now for the relevancy
when i came into teh relationship i had low self-esteem, hated myself and followed many distuctive paths. That caused alot of negitive behavoirs and attittudes. sonce this relationship has started i have much higher self-esteem and i don't feel the need to "prove" who i am to every person who walks down the street, sex is no longer a way to get attention. and for once i see myself with the same man for the rest of my life. The marriage is mearly all these things being put down on paper... so the rest of the world can see that we are seriouse and this is not a WHIM, with all the other engagments there was never a date set, there was never a rl meeting... this is so very differnt in every way from my past.

that why this is differnt thatn every other time. this one is for real, and yes it scares me. i wonder if i am ready, am i going to do what my mother did, marry have a kid then run..... it's nto all sweetness and light, that makes it real. online you can plan all you want to but when it comes right down to it your still talking to a computer screen.

( oh yeah is there a spacific reason for this umm, dressign down? because ifn your worried i am gonna hurt scorched, it won't happen. little consilation i am sure going back to the screen thing but i didn't get mean or pissy with you....i don't even know you...

[kat]

I don't know. I guess that I'm the type of person that if I see a car accident about to happen, I try to prevent it instead of just watching. I imagine Morgana is the same way.

This has "bloody pavement" written all over it.

And, SpellCheck.net (http://www.spellcheck.net), for the love of God. Painful!

[Shandrel]

hmm, excuse the spelling errors, but umm, to bad?? there are enough people around here who don't care and in a post that long it is easy to over look some. and what do you mean bloody pavement? the marriage, or the umm direction the post is going??? things have been settled beween her and i....... so that leaves you kinda out in the open here.......i am not mean or vindictive... *shrugs* so whatever..... and if that was directed at teh marriage, let me assure you time will prove you wrong ;) or right as whatever the case may be. Although i know which is which

[kat]

I've decided that my reason for trying to prevent this "car wreck" is not so much that I don't want to see bloody pavement, but rather--some people should just not be allowed to reproduce. Preventing this accident could very well save the human race!

[Thought]

I think marriage can work, but only if both partners are willing to accept the idea of "til death do us part". If you're getting married with anything less then absolute commitment, then you're in trouble before you start.

All marriages have their problems, and it's how the partners react to those problems that define the quality and duration of a marriage.

I've never been married (i have enough trouble finding a girlfriend), but I would never even consider proposing unless I knew that we both wanted the same things from a marriage.

A good marriage isn't 2 people having sex with a legal contract saying they share everything. A good marriage is 2 partners, relying on each other through everything that life throws at them.

[Shandrel]

I've decided that my reason for trying to prevent this "car wreck" is not so much that I don't want to see bloody pavement, but rather--some people should just not be allowed to reproduce. Preventing this accident could very well save the human race!

Who are you that you know me SOO well as to judge wheither or not i should have children? Hello god must be real nice. when you get a chance how abotu you fix the world before worrying about who mates and who doesn't. How lovely for you that you can instantly know everything. And so subtle and caring too, and in sticking with the theme of the post i assume you think there should be laws preventing marriage to certian people? Hmm, let me guess not a fan of gay marriages*or are you since reproduction is much harder* It is so lovely you can take a few posts on this site, where i do not actualy go much anymore and decide i am worthless. You must be a ex i don't remember or changed yoru name for your tone and suchlike i would guess sueta.


Marriage is the joining of two people on paper so the whole world knows there is a bond there. weither the bond lasts or not is another story. I assure you mine will. And we will have children. And we will raise them unlike both of us have been raised, producing *atleast* children who don't make my mistakes.

Grow up. you have no control over the situation and as oposed to M. you have no ties in the matter.
the only thing your insensitive post accomplished was hurting my feelings for about 10 min.s that's all,
Must be real proud of yourself

[WhiteCrowUK]

Thoughts?

Well I suppose I should give my own opinion for this really if I expect other people to answer.

Currently with the present situations in society, Marriage is just plain weird? Can we ever really be happy with any one person in our life? I only ask because of the trend in divorces and all that junk.

Every marrage is a relationship - and relationships have a life of their own. They need love, nurturing and patience.

I'm not saying there arent good reasons some relationships wont work - but on the whole we have become too used to the idea of disposable commodities.

I have a friend who has been going out with a girl called Jo for about a year. He is uncertain about the whole relationship - he keeps wondering "what if someone special comes along". To which I say he'll have four wonderful months with her, then will feel in exactly the same position he is in now with his current girlfriend.

We can move from one relationship to another, disposing of it when it starts to sour. Or we can try and make this one we're in now work ...

[DarkWolf]

Shandrel, Kat, can it. Your arguments seem to provoke insults instead of honest debate.

[kat]

Which is probably why I stopped posting two days ago.

[ThrasherCub]

Chica, I think it takes more then marriage to hold something together. I mean personally I think marriage is more for the girls. Who gets the expensive ring? Who gets the expensive dress?...the girls. While the guys go out with there rent-a-tucks.
My boyfriend is the one who's into all that stuff. He's gone off on short tangets about how great they are.
Marriage is for girls eh?... I'm a girl and I'd rather eat ass!

[The_Brenin]

Some poeple believe that even after death, the marrige will still last. Another good reason for getting married is that, for us guys, it takes her of the market (that is if she has morals, lol). Me personaly, when i find my Valkyrie, even death itself will not stop my comitment to her. Even as i rest my soul in valhalla, she will be my eternal godess.

[Locksmyth]

That is true brenin, although I would hope that by the time you are even considering marriage she (and you) would consider yourselves "off the market", that is if you both have "morals" and either of you are uncomfortable with an "alternative" lifestyle. I know I don't need a certificate not to be unfaithful to my partners trust. I guess I'm just saying that if she considers her self on the market until after the ceremony I don't hold much hope that she will remain faithful after the ceremony.

[Creed Ithaeur]

I'd definitely get hitched if I found someone nutty enough to want to marry me :D. But there is a girl I've been chasing since second grade, and I think she's finally coming around to me, though I'm still not sure. I definitely love her, I know that for a fact.

[The_Brenin]

I'd definitely get hitched if I found someone nutty enough to want to marry me :D. But there is a girl I've been chasing since second grade, and I think she's finally coming around to me, though I'm still not sure. I definitely love her, I know that for a fact.

You can do it!
All the power to ya buddy, keep it up, we all hope you succeed.

[The_Brenin]

That is true brenin, although I would hope that by the time you are even considering marriage she (and you) would consider yourselves "off the market", that is if you both have "morals" and either of you are uncomfortable with an "alternative" lifestyle. I know I don't need a certificate not to be unfaithful to my partners trust. I guess I'm just saying that if she considers her self on the market until after the ceremony I don't hold much hope that she will remain faithful after the ceremony.

If shes the one, i won't have to worry about her then, lol.
Rest assured, we would consider ouselves of the market a decent time before we think of marriage. No sense in us being 'swingers', its way past the 60's, lol.

[Creed Ithaeur]

You can do it!
All the power to ya buddy, keep it up, we all hope you succeed.
Yeah, me too, me too. Now I just gotta keep her for about ten years now.

[Vampiress Leera]

Yeah, me too, me too. Now I just gotta keep her for about ten years now.
But what if she's lost interest? She hasn't said anything lovey dovey about you since that one day at the bathroom.

[Creed Ithaeur]

What day are you talking about Mindie? I'm confused.

[Vampiress Leera]

What day are you talking about Mindie? I'm confused.
When she dragged me and Sara over by the bathroom. The first or second day she tried to be 'goth'.

[Creed Ithaeur]

And what did she say that was lovey dovey? I don't remember this.

[Vampiress Leera]

And what did she say that was lovey dovey? I don't remember this.
She said she was getting all lovey for ya. Ya know, head over heels for you, coo coo for the cocoa puffs? :D

[Locksmyth]

If shes the one, i won't have to worry about her then, lol.
Rest assured, we would consider ouselves of the market a decent time before we think of marriage. No sense in us being 'swingers', its way past the 60's, lol.
Good to hear, although there is nothing wrong with swinging as long as everyone involved is happy, but it's not my scene either. I just meant that getting her off the market is probably not a good frame of mind to approach marriage. :D
I hope you have a much better reason when the time comes.

Oh creed, just go for it. In 10 years you won't regret the ones that rejected you, you'll regret the ones you never asked.

[Creed Ithaeur]

Locksmyth, I've already written her two love poems, and she knows I love her alright? And Mindie, WHEN DID SHE SAY THIS!?

[Vampiress Leera]

Locksmyth, I've already written her two love poems, and she knows I love her alright? And Mindie, WHEN DID SHE SAY THIS!?
lunch one day. i told you then, don't you remember?

[Creed Ithaeur]

You just said she was starting to like me, not all that!

[Vampiress Leera]

You just said she was starting to like me, not all that!
well the point is do you think she's still interested?

[Creed Ithaeur]

Well I hope she is!