this one's an oldy but goody

[Gandolf]

guy walks into a bar and on the bar sits five hunderd dollars in a jar.

the guy asks the bartender,"Hey barkeep, what's this money for?"

the bartender goes," well that's for if you can make my horse laugh, because he's been feeling a bit sad lately."

So the guy goes to the barn and comes back to the bar and everyone could hear the horse going insane with laughter. The guy took the five hunderd and left. The next week he came back there was another five hunderd on the bar.He asked the bartender what was the money was for this time
the baartender replied,"Well my horse still hasn't stopped laughing, no matter what I did the bastard wouldn't shut up. So this is for the person who makes my horse cry."

the guy goes to the back of the barn and comes back in and the horse is weeping as if someone ducktaped his scrotum to a fry grill. the guy left with the money and came back the next week and he noticed there was no money on the counter this time and he asked the bartender,"why?"

"Well the horse didn't stop crying so we had to shoot it and turn it into Old Roy dog chow. Before you go you have to tell me how you made my horse laugh one week and then cry it's eyes out the nextweek?"

The guy took a shot of whiskey and looked at the bartender real serious like and said," Well the first time I told your horse that I had a bigger penis than his, the next week I came and proved it!"

Peace love dope,
Miquel Anthony Cremeans

[GoldShadowHunt]

I can't resist: Behold, the dead frog joke

An eleven year old kid walks into a New York city brothel, dragging a dead frog on a string. He approaches the counter and asks the matron if any of the girls are available.
The matron raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you a little young?"
The kid says nothing, and instead pulls out a HUGE wad of money. He lays one hundred dollars on the counter and stares down the matron.
The matron rolls her eyes and disappears into a back room. When she reappears, the kid says to her, "Wait! Ma'am, she's got to have syphillis!"
The matron is shocked. "Son, I'm sorry, but we don't have any girls like that in this establishment."
Again, the boy says nothing, but produces another hundred dollars, placing it on the counter as well.
The matron returns a second time and hands him a hotel room key. The boy and his dead frog on a string board the elevator.

An hour or so later the boy exits the elevator, disheveled, and starts towards the door. The matron, unable to contain her curiousity, stops the boy.
"Young man, I just have to ask: why did the girl have to have syphillis?"
The boy shoved the frog into his pocket and said to the matron very matter-of-factly, "Well, when I go home, I'm going to fuck the babysitter. When Dad comes home, he'll fuck her too. Mom and Dad will fuck later tonight, and tomorrow, when the milkman comes, Mom will fuck the milkman, and he's the son of a bitch who ran over my frog!!