Never Say This to A Cop

[Vanilla]

What Not to Tell The Cop When You Get Pulled Over:

1. I need to go to the bathroom really bad.
2. Krispy Cream is that way pal.
3. What do you mean I don’t have enough people in the car for the HOV lane? Oh wait; I guess the body in the trunk doesn’t count does it?
4. No I don’t know how fast I was going. At those speeds you have to watch the road and not the speedometer.
5. Ithought 55 was just a suggestion.

6. Are you sure I was going 90? I would have sworn the speedometer said I was going 100.

7. I couldn’t have been going that fast. If I were, you wouldn’t have caught me.

8. No I don’t know why you pulled me over and frankly I don’t give a good shit.

9. Why didn’t my radar detector pick you up?

10. I smell bacon, it must be you.

[Lost_Soul]

Heh

Pretty good :p

[Sarcasmo]

heehee...what about ... How's the crack?

[DarknessBloodbane]

adding to that...lol

I swear to drunk I'm not god, officer.
If you didn't know how fast I was going, why'd you pull me over?
If I give you this dozen, will you go away?
License...you need one of those?

[sabrewulf9]

I have always liked....

Your eys looked glazed. Have you been eating donughts?

or

I don't want to be drunk in public. I want to be drunk in a bar. Which is perfectly legal. They (The Bouncers) threw me into public. Arrest them.

[adom]

Cops always used to ask me, "Are you late for something?" I quickly found out that "I wasn't, but I will be now," is not the right answer. I did have an argument with one cop who asked me that and I answered yes. He yelled at me, "Don't tell me you can speed because you're late!"
I responded,"I didn't. You asked if I was late and I said yes. If you didn't want to know why did you ask?"
His older partner just laughed and let me go.

[Luthious]

Here's one, if a cop asks you if you got any weapons or drugs in the car say:

Yes I got a pistol in the glove box with three extra clips, twenty keys of coke under the back seat and three dead hookers in the trunk. Want to see?


I had a friend of mine get pulled over and questioned about his guns once. When the chief pulled up behid the cop, he asked my friend if the guns were loaded. My friend said "I treat each gun like it's loaded. But after your shift meet me at the restraunt up the steet." When the chief showed up off duty. My friend confessed the guns were loaded with FMJ's. The cop got fired.
FMJ's=Full Metal Jackets

[Darth Cluich]

The worst thing to say to a cop? "My name is Luthy Buthy Kins."

[Luthious]

*Smack Chuich with beer can*

Not funny.

[Ves]

"I've not been conting drinkstable" (pronounce the o in "conting" as a "u" and you've got a party)