New Diet (adult)

[perpetual sorrow]

If you want to lose weight and you don't want to be hungry or do tough exercises,you have to follow it completely.

Sex is the faster and funnier of losing weight.
This is according to the last studyies of the professor John "ohmygad" from oxford university

Calories comsumption

TAKING THE CLOTH OFF

With her consentment......... .12 cal.
Without her consentment......187 cal.

UNBUTTONING THE BRA

With both hands............... .8 cal.
With one hand................ .12 cal.
With your mouth............... 85 cal.


PUTTING THE CONDOM ON

Erected............. ...........6 cal.
Without erection............ .315 cal.

POSITIONS

Misionary........... ..........12 cal.
69 standing............ .......78 cal.
69 layed down................ 112 cal.
Wheel barrel.............. ...216 cal.
Doggy style............... ...326 cal.

HAVING AN ORGASM

Real................ .........112 cal.
Faked............... .........315 cal.

POST ORGASM

Stay in bed................. ..18 cal.
Leave the bed righ away.......36 cal.
Explain why you left the bed.816 cal.

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION

20-29 years............... .....36 cal.
30-39 years............... .....80 cal.
40-49 years............... ....124 cal.
50-59 years............... ....972 cal.
60-70 years............... ...2916 cal.
over 70 years.. no data avaiable every volunteer died while trying.

PUTTING YOUR CLOTH ON

Slowly.............. ...........32 cal.
In a hurry............... ......98 cal.
With her dad knocking the door...1218 cal.
With your wife knocking the door..3521 cal.

(what are you waiting for let's burn all those calories ;) )

[DarkWolf]

This is an oldie but lets bring maths for a play:

So the best way to lose calories via sex is to be between 60-70 years old and:

Take the clothes off without her consentment......187 cal.

Unbutton the bra with your mouth............... 85 cal.

Put the condom on whilst lacking an erection............ .315 cal.

Use the doggy style position............ ... ...326 cal.

Fake your orgasm.............. . .........315 cal.

After the orgasm you should leave the bed right away then explain why you left the bed (because these are seperate events ;)) 36 + 816 cal.

Get a second erection............ ... ...2916 cal.

And finally: Put your clothes on in a hurry with her dad and your wife knocking on the door (because all these events/choices were seperate as well!)...98 cal. + 1218 cal. + 3521 cal.

That means you lose: 9833 calories.

Better not try that: you'd probably die.

[perpetual sorrow]

But you had fun with all the process didn't you??? that worth dying :p (i hate this smilies lol)

[adom]

Wow. Burning calories like that you may have to incorporate food into your foreplay.

[Klark]

You'd only die losing that many calories assuming you're not putting anything back into your body and assuming that you can do it constantly. It takes a burning of near 2,000 calories to lose a pound...I think...I may be wrong....I dunno, look it up.

EDIT: I looked! (http://ttfit.com/fatcalories.htm) It takes 3,500 calories to burn a pound. That's a lot of calories. So you'd lose three or less pounds per thingy that DW calculated. So, if you wiegh five or less pounds, please, don't have sex. You'll die.

[perpetual sorrow]

EDIT: I looked! (http://ttfit.com/fatcalories.htm) It takes 3,500 calories to burn a pound. That's a lot of calories. So you'd lose three or less pounds per thingy that DW calculated. So, if you wiegh five or less pounds, please, don't have sex. You'll die.
I'll keep that in mind klark thank you :p

[adom]

So if you weigh less than five pounds, don't h ave sex, you'll die---Klark.I'll keep that in mind klark thank you :p
Oh my Gosh! Excuse me! I have to go seperate my Chihauhaus!

[Sable]

The normal amount for a man to ejaculate is about a teaspoon.
For those who are weight conscious, it contains about five calories.

;)

[Darth Cluich]

But it's chock full of protein, so gobble up! :p

[The Prophet]

Okay...that sounds interesting. Soon it will be as popular as the Atkins. :) (Man....I miss the little wolfie smiles).

[perpetual sorrow]

No wonder all the porn stars are so thin :P

[Darth Cluich]

No wonder all the porn stars are so thin :P

Nah, that's the cocaine. They never actually injest the loads. That would ruin the money shot. ;)

[The Prophet]

No wonder all the porn stars are so thin :P

I was thinking the same thing. :) Still it is nice for more guys to have an excuse to have sex more.

[perpetual sorrow]

Trust me everything is an excuse to have more sex :D