EyeOfTheBeholder
08-26-2004, 09:04 AM
(I have a strange obsession with Bathroom Graffiti, I often wonder what causes some people to want to write on the wall while taking a poo. Or who can be so angry that they have to CARVE IN TILE above a urinal. These are various quotes gathered from personal experience, off websites devoted to the subject, and from friends. If any of you have some to add I'd be exceptionally happy.)
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
-Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
-Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
-Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
-The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
-The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
-Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
Make love, not war. --Hell, do both, get married!
-Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
JESUS SAVES!
But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
-Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
-Men's restroom, Lynagh's. Lexington, Kentucky.
The Grout Divide
Down and Grout
Grout of sight, Grout of mind
Groutul Dead
Sour Grout
Grout Expectations
Grout Googly Moogly
The Grout Groutdoors
Sometimes a Grout Notion
Three Strikes Your Grout
"Ambiguity is the Devil's Tether-ball" - The Crown and Anchor Pub, Austin TX (1990-1992)
I sit here and contemplate Should I shit or masturbate Found in a toilet in my old school, somewhere in The Netherlands, in the city of Venlo
"I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition." :-)
Where: Men's restroom, Hamburguesa restaurant, Old Town, San Diego, CA (The restaurant has since changed its name; I don't remember the current name). When: A couple of years ago, maybe?? What: The paper towel dispenser had the usual "Wash your Hands" / "Lavese las Manos" sign on it. Below "Lavese las Manos", someone had written "... and his big-band sound".
St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada, is as follows: "I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!" - to which someone else wrote: "GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!"
"Richard Nixon should pull out before it's too late, just like his father should've." Humanities Hall, second floor, men's room, U.C. Irvine, early to middle 1970's.
Seen in the school restroom in a small town in Montana: 'If you can pee above this line, the West Yellowstone Fire Department wants you!'
Here I sit In Noxious Vapor Someone has used all the paper I'm late for class I cannot linger Look out ass Here comes my finger. Ballantine Hall, IU-Bloomington
) In front of urinal at Baked in Telluride (CO): "Dont look now but you've got your best friend by the neck" 2) Not sure of location: " If black is beuatiful, I just shit a masterpiece" 3) Also not sure of location, although I think it was in Telluride as well: " Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit, but only farted"
From the restroom of some nameless crawfish restaurant in the middle of nowhere off of I-10 in southern Louisiana: Nixon did for America what pantyhose did for finger fucking....
This toilet paper is like Clint Eastwood, though and hard, and takes no shit.
"My mother made me a whore" and someone had added: "If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too?"
Location: University of Austin, Texas. Taylor building (I think - it was a long time back). Computing Center. Graffiti: Next to the toilet paper: "UT degree - please take one"
All are sort of traditional in mens rest rooms in the UK. 1)"Life's like a pubic hair on toilet bowl - you soon get pissed off" 2)Written above head height in the urinals: "If you can piss this far you should join the fire brigade" 3)If mens brains were as big as their balls there would be a lot less writing on toilet walls. 4) Also written on the urinals: "Remember - more than three shakes is a wank" 5)One more from the urinals: "No matter how much you shake your peg The last drop always runs down your leg"
"Don't throw cigarette butts in the urinal, as it makes them soggy and hard to light."
Marx didn't know that Bismarck would invent unemployment insurance. -Dwinelle Hall, U.C.
Berkeley When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like grandfather. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
In Golden Gate Park: Arrest Nixon for the assassination of JFK! Listen to the tapes! Shortly after Nixon died, someone wrote underneath this: Nevermind.
"Jesus saves souls, and turns them in for fabulous cash prizes!" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx.
"Kirk Out" Written above a urinal, Gingerman, Austin, Tx. "668, the neighbor of the beast" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx. "Save the whales - collect the whole set" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx.
Seen in the mens' room in a women's dorm at USC: "Just think of the miles of Fallopian tubes that surround you that you won't be able to get near."
"JESUS SAVES " and underneath someone wrote in pencil "Gretsky rebounds...wrap-around..He shoots, he scores."
favorite bathroom graffiti (besides the obligatory wallborn personal ads penned by gays) is a recent exchange posted on the wall of the first floor men's room in Perkins Library. The "bait" reads "Fight for the rights of the pansexual." After the usual bible-beater remarks about how homosexuality is a sin, and all pansexuals will therefore burn in hell, there was a string of humorous responses. The first was "Does that mean you fuck a little guy with hooves and a flute?" they followed: "or does he fuck you?" "and what role, if any, is played by the flute?" "It plays an octave, albeit minor, role."
ROSS PEROT ~anagram~ SORE SPORT Someone else continued: ~anagram~ SPORE SORT ~anagram~ PROSE ROTS ~anagram~ TORR POSSE ~anagram~ ROOT PRESS
"Insanity is to art what garlic is to salad." to which someone replied: "Waiter, there's too much garlic in my salad."
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled "I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself."
"For a good time, call ###-#### and ask for Mary. For a BAD time, tell Mary where you got this number."
how bout this little ditty discovered in a public toilet in London? As you sit to take a shit Rest a while and think a bit, The last time that I beat my meat, Was on this very toilet seat.
A guy told me about this piece of graffiti he saw in a bathroom. He was sitting down doing this business, and he saw some very small writing on the bottom of the door. So he bent over to read it. It read " If you can read this, you're shitting at a 45 degree angle!!
As a boy, my Dad used to fish off the end of a pier in the San Fransisco Bay. There was an old-style outhouse (no longer there) on the pier, put there by the owner. Apparently the owner got tired of people making a mess of his outhouse, so he wrote the following on the wall inside: If you shit upon the floor, I will lock the shithouse door. -- Owner A person who apparently had frequent need to visit the outhouse responded below the owner's message with: If the shithouse door you lock, I'll throw your shithouse off the dock.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
-Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
-Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
-Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
-The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
-The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
-Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
Make love, not war. --Hell, do both, get married!
-Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
JESUS SAVES!
But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
-Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
-Men's restroom, Lynagh's. Lexington, Kentucky.
The Grout Divide
Down and Grout
Grout of sight, Grout of mind
Groutul Dead
Sour Grout
Grout Expectations
Grout Googly Moogly
The Grout Groutdoors
Sometimes a Grout Notion
Three Strikes Your Grout
"Ambiguity is the Devil's Tether-ball" - The Crown and Anchor Pub, Austin TX (1990-1992)
I sit here and contemplate Should I shit or masturbate Found in a toilet in my old school, somewhere in The Netherlands, in the city of Venlo
"I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition." :-)
Where: Men's restroom, Hamburguesa restaurant, Old Town, San Diego, CA (The restaurant has since changed its name; I don't remember the current name). When: A couple of years ago, maybe?? What: The paper towel dispenser had the usual "Wash your Hands" / "Lavese las Manos" sign on it. Below "Lavese las Manos", someone had written "... and his big-band sound".
St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada, is as follows: "I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!" - to which someone else wrote: "GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!"
"Richard Nixon should pull out before it's too late, just like his father should've." Humanities Hall, second floor, men's room, U.C. Irvine, early to middle 1970's.
Seen in the school restroom in a small town in Montana: 'If you can pee above this line, the West Yellowstone Fire Department wants you!'
Here I sit In Noxious Vapor Someone has used all the paper I'm late for class I cannot linger Look out ass Here comes my finger. Ballantine Hall, IU-Bloomington
) In front of urinal at Baked in Telluride (CO): "Dont look now but you've got your best friend by the neck" 2) Not sure of location: " If black is beuatiful, I just shit a masterpiece" 3) Also not sure of location, although I think it was in Telluride as well: " Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit, but only farted"
From the restroom of some nameless crawfish restaurant in the middle of nowhere off of I-10 in southern Louisiana: Nixon did for America what pantyhose did for finger fucking....
This toilet paper is like Clint Eastwood, though and hard, and takes no shit.
"My mother made me a whore" and someone had added: "If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too?"
Location: University of Austin, Texas. Taylor building (I think - it was a long time back). Computing Center. Graffiti: Next to the toilet paper: "UT degree - please take one"
All are sort of traditional in mens rest rooms in the UK. 1)"Life's like a pubic hair on toilet bowl - you soon get pissed off" 2)Written above head height in the urinals: "If you can piss this far you should join the fire brigade" 3)If mens brains were as big as their balls there would be a lot less writing on toilet walls. 4) Also written on the urinals: "Remember - more than three shakes is a wank" 5)One more from the urinals: "No matter how much you shake your peg The last drop always runs down your leg"
"Don't throw cigarette butts in the urinal, as it makes them soggy and hard to light."
Marx didn't know that Bismarck would invent unemployment insurance. -Dwinelle Hall, U.C.
Berkeley When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like grandfather. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
In Golden Gate Park: Arrest Nixon for the assassination of JFK! Listen to the tapes! Shortly after Nixon died, someone wrote underneath this: Nevermind.
"Jesus saves souls, and turns them in for fabulous cash prizes!" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx.
"Kirk Out" Written above a urinal, Gingerman, Austin, Tx. "668, the neighbor of the beast" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx. "Save the whales - collect the whole set" Crown & Anchor, Austin, Tx.
Seen in the mens' room in a women's dorm at USC: "Just think of the miles of Fallopian tubes that surround you that you won't be able to get near."
"JESUS SAVES " and underneath someone wrote in pencil "Gretsky rebounds...wrap-around..He shoots, he scores."
favorite bathroom graffiti (besides the obligatory wallborn personal ads penned by gays) is a recent exchange posted on the wall of the first floor men's room in Perkins Library. The "bait" reads "Fight for the rights of the pansexual." After the usual bible-beater remarks about how homosexuality is a sin, and all pansexuals will therefore burn in hell, there was a string of humorous responses. The first was "Does that mean you fuck a little guy with hooves and a flute?" they followed: "or does he fuck you?" "and what role, if any, is played by the flute?" "It plays an octave, albeit minor, role."
ROSS PEROT ~anagram~ SORE SPORT Someone else continued: ~anagram~ SPORE SORT ~anagram~ PROSE ROTS ~anagram~ TORR POSSE ~anagram~ ROOT PRESS
"Insanity is to art what garlic is to salad." to which someone replied: "Waiter, there's too much garlic in my salad."
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled "I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself."
"For a good time, call ###-#### and ask for Mary. For a BAD time, tell Mary where you got this number."
how bout this little ditty discovered in a public toilet in London? As you sit to take a shit Rest a while and think a bit, The last time that I beat my meat, Was on this very toilet seat.
A guy told me about this piece of graffiti he saw in a bathroom. He was sitting down doing this business, and he saw some very small writing on the bottom of the door. So he bent over to read it. It read " If you can read this, you're shitting at a 45 degree angle!!
As a boy, my Dad used to fish off the end of a pier in the San Fransisco Bay. There was an old-style outhouse (no longer there) on the pier, put there by the owner. Apparently the owner got tired of people making a mess of his outhouse, so he wrote the following on the wall inside: If you shit upon the floor, I will lock the shithouse door. -- Owner A person who apparently had frequent need to visit the outhouse responded below the owner's message with: If the shithouse door you lock, I'll throw your shithouse off the dock.