Men Vs. Women

[SubSteel]

ADULT CONTENT



I found this list on an ecard site called
http://www.funny-ecards.com/jokes/menvswo/q-and-a.html


Q: WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius

Q: WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
A: They don't have enough time

Q: WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
A: They don't stop for directions

Q: WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

Q: WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in

Q: WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
A: They're intended for children but men usually end up playing with them

Q: WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock

Q: WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties

Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
A: You need a rough draft before you make a final copy

Q: HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
A: Nobody knows, since it has never happened

Q: ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument.
A: Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument





>>>>>>Post your men Vs women jokes here<<<<<<<<<<

[Khrystof]

Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
A: You need a rough draft before you make a final copy



If woman is the final copy why was she made from mans rib?

[RQ]

What do you call a hundred men at the bottom of a river?




....a good start.

[crescent]

Evil comes in many female packages. Men may be insane, but we are not evil incarnate. I know only a few "nice" women.

[Klark]

Who are the biggest liars, men or women?

Women.

Men tell a lot of little lies. Women tell lies and they get their friends and family and sometimes even strangers in on it. Therefore, women are the biggest liars. Men just lie the most. :)

[Wolf_Pup]

If woman is the final copy why was she made from mans rib?Well, when making a final copy of anything, you take a little from the old and add to make it new and better! That's all! Women are just better, that's all! :p

[Louve]

Like I said before Men are all animals,some just make better pets.

[DL Lycan]

if your not an animal are you a plant? besides einstein was a MAN or MALE

[Firesong]

funny thing...when women say shit bout men, it's "male bashing", when Men say shit about women....it's "sexism" hmmmmm..odd..

don't dish out what you can't take! :D

so..on that note....(cheers guys)

Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women


1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

31. A beer does not come with in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month.

[LV426]

funny thing...when women say shit bout men, it's "male bashing", when Men say shit about women....it's "sexism" hmmmmm..odd..

don't dish out what you can't take! :D

so..on that note....(cheers guys)

Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women


I'll remember that.

*Mails Fire a six pack of Guinness for the holidays and makes plans to spend New Years in the UK with Necro.*

[Cuttail]

I ask how can we men ever understand the female mind?I have tryed for over 25 years,and every time I come close they always change them!

[Louve]

if your not an animal are you a plant? besides einstein was a MAN or MALE
No darling I'm quite the animal ...problem is no man has ever made a pet out of me! :cool: And as for Eistein he was smart but can he syntheticaly reciprocate the amount of pleasure men receive at the hands of women? Guess not! ;)

[Hagakure]

funny thing...when women say shit bout men, it's "male bashing", when Men say shit about women....it's "sexism" hmmmmm..odd..

Well, the thing about that is...

(Pic by Maddox.)