Pain free Choices

[WolfBlade]

If say you were ever stranded in a harsh situation which lead you to have to determine one source of action; could you chose one without pain? For instance. Say you just got your diploma, are about to start college, you have a job, live with your mom, and are in a relationship. But there are pressures from your job to work you more. Your mother because you'll never amount to anything, your best friends are yelling at you because you never call anymore or come over, And your spouse because you aren't seen enough. Could you solve all of these problems without someone getting hurt?

In some and most cases, it only takes a simple solution to make these even themselves out, but in others all of your obvious choices become ones with blades tied to them. So in the end, is it ok if you hurt someone? If it makes ends meet, is it alright to step on a few toes to get there? Or is it, that somehow or someway there is always a solution that is pain free?

I ask for your opinions on this, if you please.
=-^.^-= .\/,,

[McKitty]

Well, seeing that I have four of those dilemma's already in life (I don't have the relationship) I'll put out what I'm doing now.

1) The Job: I work as a stocker so instead of working longer hours, I start working harder in the hours I have, and start volunteering so my higher-ups see that I'm a nice assest to the workplace.

2) My mom: I sit down and have a long talk with her and we get things sorted out. It was a long talk, believe me, but it works.

3) My Best Friend: Again, another long talk and an attempt on my part to contact her more through letters and phonecalls.

4) College: Go part-time. Already, with the job I would do this, so that's no problem really.

5) Relationship: If I had one then I would tell them that college is extremely important to me and that I would try to my my time more quailtity then quantity with them but to not expect me to move the world for them because they knew in the beginning my college career came first in all matters. Yes it's harsh but one can't live on love. I would suggest that on the vacations we go and do get-aways and what not.

[Faerie_flame]

I suppose in that kind of situation you have to be a little bit selfish. Ofcourse you could try talking to your friends, parents, boyfriend ect beforehand, but who ever got through life without being selfish at least once, if only a little bit?

[LycanSpectre]

No, I could not. For the following reasons:

1) School is more important to me than work. If my employer cant deal with that, tough shit. At the undergrad level, changing jobs isn't such a big deal. (Assuming you can find a new one in this economy).
2) If I haven't spoken to my friends, its probably for a reason. And if they are pissed off that I have had other things going on, that is also tough. Do what you need to do, if they cant deal with that, again, tough shit. And what kind of "friend" yells at you when you are busy with other things?
3) A parental figure needs to be supporting. If they are not, then prove them wrong. If it means so much to you that they are impressed by you, that is. If you dont, just tell them that they are not helping you to do any better by damaging your self esteem.
4) If you can't devote enough time to your relationship so that it makes you and your partner happy, then it probably isn't working out.

In this world, you often need to put yourself first, as no one else will do that for you. If you allow yourself to be stepped on, it wont stop just beacuse you dont like it. Do something about it.

I have been told that it is not you that /causes/ pain, you just trigger it. It's thier problem, not yours. So dont feel bad if you say something and someone else doesn't like it.

[Tiamot]

Unfortunately, pain is a factor of life. Attempting to choose a route that pleases everyone ends up causing unintended hurt and concequences. I choose the route that seems most logical to me. There is nothing that says that you must remain on the same path, therefore I will often change my focus to suit my need.

[GreyOwl]

Unfortunately, pain is a factor of life. Attempting to choose a route that pleases everyone ends up causing unintended hurt and concequences. I choose the route that seems most logical to me. There is nothing that says that you must remain on the same path, therefore I will often change my focus to suit my need.

I agree. I would add that one should be true to ones self and that to lead ones life acording to other peoples perceptions of the world causes pain to the soul. To lead ones life acording to ones own perceptions may cause pain to other peoples souls but that is their lesson to deal with.

[Hellcat]

A hard lesson in life to learn is : You can't please everyone. You can get around this by pleasing yourself, that way at least you know at least one person is happy- YOU! It's selfish, but it works.